discussions

Introduction

I have been writing poetry off and on for more than half my life.  I loved reading many different contemporary and classic poets, and one day challenged myself to see if I could write a poem.  I thought they were worse than awful at first, then I noticed some improvement; but I will let you, the reader, be the judge.  I got married, had two children, was saved by Christ, and began to devour scripture.  Then in 1992 I picked up my poet’s pen where I left off, but this time finding a true meaning for my poetic expression.  I began writing a series of “discussions”, albeit one sided, that I had with God the Father.  These “discussions” are divided into three groups, the first I call “rantings”, the second “obsessions”, and the third “expressions”.  

Most of the poetic forms fall into two categories, a free-form random rhyme and a Shakespearian sonnet.  They are unabashedly word pictures painted from the depths of my heart and soul; and therefore it is my hope and prayer in sharing them that they touch a chord in you as they did in me when I wrote them.  That chord is Christ, the One to whom I belong, and the One to whom I lay bare my true feelings.  He is creator of the heavens and the earth and all that is therein; and I seek only to bring honor and glory and praise to His name.

part 1

rantings

written 1992 through 1995

   #1

Father,

       I wanted to go that way;

       but you had another direction in mind.

I wanted power and riches and fame;

       You wanted obedience and trust and worship!

I was wrong to think I knew better.

       You are my path to understanding truth!

With your grace

       I will follow you in righteousness

       and still my heart to false desire.

I praise you, O Lord, with every breath I take;

       And I love you, Father, with my everlasting soul.

You lead

       and I will follow.

   #2

The path to you, O Lord, is paved with cobblestones of obedience.

Along that path there is neither fine silver nor precious gold;

for they are metals of the earth,

       and you are the mettle of life.

Obedience to your commands brings everlasting life to those who follow.

Obedience to you,

       who gave Israel the law,

       and who breathed the truth into prophets,

       and who offers salvation to all in return for faith;

obedience to you, Father, is my everlasting covenant,

       sealed with the blood of your Passover Lamb.

Obedience to you, Lord, is all that I have

       that is mine alone to give;

for the rest is already yours.

   #3

I was born into the ways of Israel,

       to whose house nothing comes easy;

       especially obedience to you, Father.

Fill me with your Spirit, O Lord,

       so that I might praise your name,

       proclaiming your grace to all who will listen.

Why, Father, does salvation come so easy

       as a result of faith in the death and resurrection

       and ascension of your Son, Jesus Christ?

Forgive me, O Lord, a sinner,

       whose head makes difficult

       what my heart knows to be the truth.

Forgive me, O Lord, a sinner,

       who forgets to ask and then doubts

       when spoken to clearly.

Forgive me, O Lord, a sinner,

       who is unworthy of the love you give to me

       in return for my unyielding faith in you.

Forgive me, O Lord, a sinner,

       who would be lost forever

       without you walking by my side.

   #4

Our children are being abducted!

       I cry out in warning, but evil’s hand covers my mouth before I can get a single sound out.

They do not know that what they see and hear and feel is the antithesis of all that you teach; they do not know the strength of your forgiveness, and of your love, Father.

       They are taught to worship false gods, held up as real by too many of society’s role models.

I am caged like a wild lion, pacing back and forth, the scent of evil dripping from my nostrils.

       Do not hold me back, Father!

Unleash your fury through me so that our future generations may be saved by your Grace, and by your Word.

       Place your sword in my right hand, Father, so that I might strike death’s blow upon the abductor’s head, so that I might pierce his icy heart, and bring him to his knees in repentance.

I know that without your protection, Father, he can destroy me with a whisper, erase me from the face of existence with a single thought.

       But that is no longer important to me!

I will be the one to strike the blow for you, so that he will be chased away in retreat before you, Father.

       I will be the one to strike the blow for you, so that he will run from our children’s bedroom door in fear, back into the darkness of his evil world.

I will strike the blow for you, Father, knowing in my heart that your hand will shield me with your radiant love.

       Our children are yours alone, Father, entrusted to us in life so that they will not perish at death’s dark door unsaved.

   #5

You are the one true, living God; you are my everlasting Father, the Father of my Fathers, the Father of all who exist.

You are my teacher for all worth knowing; you are my protector from evil; you are Savior of my soul; and I am nothing without you, Father.  I am unworthy of the grace you have bestowed upon me.

From the earliest times I can remember you have always been nearby.  From the beginning of time you have been available to me when I called upon your name, and the name of your Son.

And you continue, through this very day, to guide me and to intercede for me; even without being asked.

Most of the time, however, I am oblivious to your intercession, taking it for granted, not even acknowledging it until years later.

All I can do is say, “Thank you, Father,” afterward, and praise your name for the grace you have given to me all throughout my life.

I am truly unworthy of your good grace, a two-year-old Christian more needy than giving.

I pray in the name of Jesus Christ, my Lord, and my Savior, that you might find it in your infinite wisdom and generosity to forgive me, again, Father.

Do not bring disruption, again, upon my life, and the lives of my family.  They look up to me, and all I know how to do is let them down again, just like I have let you down again, Father.

You have been in my life all of my life so far, and I know with all my essence that you will be in my life long after my time here is complete.

I know that is not the issue you have with me, Father.  I also know that I repeatedly let you down, and that I am not doing what you have called me to do.

But what do I do if I cannot understand the call?  Or more truthfully, Father, what do I do if I understand the call, but do not know how to make the first step?

I can no longer allow fear to be my guide dog.  I beseech you, Father, lead me by the hand as you would a two-year-old.  Show me the next step, and assure me it will not be a pit of vipers; or if it is, that you will not abandon me or my family.

They have done nothing to warrant this level of stress that is knocking down our back door, except maybe to trust in my lead too much, and in your grace not nearly enough.

I am incapable of proceeding on my own, Father.  I pray in Jesus’ precious name that you grant me this request for your everlasting strength and your unyielding support.

Amen.

   #6

I love you, Father.

Your light shines on me, and I follow it freely; I walk in its radiance morning, noon, and night and am baptized with your Holy Spirit in the name of your Son and Savior Jesus Christ.

The darkness is close enough to me that I can reach out and grab it, or taunt it, or laugh in its face; but I do not for fear of being pulled in without mercy.

So I skirt by the darkness without flinching, without looking into it too long; I keep my gaze fixed only on your grace emanating from within the light, Father.

And life flows on without serious incident as long as I remain focused on your light within the light, and do not deviate even slightly to the right or to the left.

   #7

Some days I find it very difficult to believe that you are still working in my life, Father.

I know in my heart you are still there; and I know it is not you who has left me; but rather it is I who have moved my attention away from your world and into mine.

These are days of flesh, not of the Spirit; days when only thoughts of myself fill my mind; and then I remember, transforming them into days of longing to return to thoughts of only you.

   #8

I was born into the ways of Israel, to whose house nothing comes easy; especially obedience to you, O Lord.

I pray you can forgive me for the doubt in my mind, which foreshadows the faith in my heart.

Fill me with your Spirit, Father, so that I might praise your name, proclaiming your grace to all who will listen.

Salvation comes too easy as a result of faith in the death and resurrection and ascension of your Son, Christ Jesus, our Lord.

Forgive me again, Father, a sinner, whose mind makes difficult what my heart knows to be truth.

   #9

You can have my job, Lord,

       as long as you keep me true to you and walking by your side.

You can have my house and cars and everything material in my life, Lord,

       as long as you keep me true to you and walking by your side.

You can have my life here on this earth, Lord,

       as long as you keep me true to you and walking by your side.

I do not want to give even one of them up yet, Lord;

       however, I do not want you to leave my side either.

If you make me pick, the choice is simple!

       There is nothing worth anything if I were not able to walk by your side, Lord, in the truth and the light and in life.

And yet all would be freely discarded

       if I were truly blessed with a glimpse of your shining face, Lord.

   #10

I cannot give up, Father.

       I cannot settle for that which is not the vision you planted in my mind’s eye many years ago.

I will keep following your lead; and

       I will keep my own desires held in check by your grace.

We have not arrived there yet, Father; however, I know we are getting very close.

       Is it just around the next bend?

       Or over the next hill?

       Or behind the next obstruction in the road?

I ask you, and you tell me I am still on track;

       however, I stumble down blind alleys, through which I must back out carefully, without stumbling again;

       and you tell me I am still on track.

There is no doubt in my mind what will happen next, Lord.

       I will ask you for guidance;

       I will ask you to show me your way and your truth for my life, Father;

       And then I will listen attentively for your answer;

       And I will go in the direction you point, and look for your predetermined signposts along the way.

One day, Father, but I cannot tell you when, we will arrive there together, at your appointed hour.

   #11

Lord, please instruct me; show me where and how I have gone astray from your grace.

Why do you let the evil one continue to stalk me like a mugger stalks his victim through the darkened city streets?

I can run just fast enough to stay ahead; but I am slowing and he is gaining and you have not jumped out to save me, yet, Father.

Exhaustion overflows every muscle in my aging body.

The climax is approaching, and I have nowhere to turn.

My back is up against the alley wall, and there is no way out, except through confrontation and fighting and death.

He must perish so that I might live; but he is strong enough to take on five thousand like me at the same time and triumph.

I have but one way out, Father, and I cannot find where you have hidden your light.

I know you will not let me perish this way, and without due cause.

My heart has remained true to you, and only you, O Lord.

And yet I cannot find your light to cast upon the darkness.

I cannot find your light, Lord, to cast upon the evil one, to expose the treachery and death he brings to unsuspecting believers, such as I.

   #12

The eyes of ancient prophets are tear stained and red with sadness.

They have pointed out the way of truth and of light, but very few have followed their calling.

The Lamb has shed his blood once for all to be saved who will believe strongly enough to follow.

And yet most turn to look the other way, staring into the darkness, hoping to find their own path through the maze, called life.

       Some turn to peers for recognition and self worth.

       Some use money and possessions as answers to all the wrong questions.

When all we have to do is turn inward to our own heart; for that is where our Savior hides, waiting to be found by all who dare to look.

   #13

The end justifies the means,

       only if the end goal is to be in God’s presence,

       and the means of getting there are by faith, obedience, and love.

Getting to the end is the wrong reason for traveling wherever it is you are going;

       it is more important to rejoice in the trip along the way;

       it is more important to trust in God to get you there at all;

       for that may not be where he wants you to go.

It is not as important to get where you are going, as it is to go there alongside our Lord, Jesus Christ.

   #14

Albert says that time is relative

       to the one who tries to keep it.

Abraham thought time moved too slowly

       and tried to take it into his own hands.

   #15

Satan has grabbed hold of him by his large ego,

       and will not let go until he is destroyed in the darkness.

His mind is filled with easy ways to get the job done,

       quality be damned; incompetence reigns supreme.

   #16

You were right there with me in the beginning, before I understood.

I did not know you, and I certainly did not know of you, but you knew me as well as a Father does his son.

You watched over me, and guarded me from unseen dangers, and guarded me through my early childhood and the difficulties of my youth.

And then you allowed me to see you up close, in all your glorious splendor, as you had to intercede in my life to guide me with a firmer hand.

You were here and gone in a flash, but I can still remember your fading image, with bright white curly hair and beard and the depth of eternity looking out at me from within your loving eyes.

You have set your stone before my feet, Father, and I have stumbled many times throughout my adult years.

And yet with your love and the firmness of your gentle hand around my shoulder, I am always able to pick myself up, brush off the devil’s dust, and know to look more closely for that stone the next time.

And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.

Romans 8:28

   #17

My first reaction, Father, is to look for different ways to do the same old thing we have done too many times before;

       my first reaction is to look for the easy way out, to avoid the inevitable confrontation, to go along to get along.

And then your hand reaches out, caressing me on the brow, assuring me that I still walk in your grace, Father,

       assuring me that you will guide me through this valley of darkness without wounds inflicted by the evil one,

       assuring me that the victory will be yours, Father, and that we will emerge on the other side of this valley into your glorious light and in safety.

I know you would not put me into the middle of these cosmic confrontations if you did not believe that my reactions would glorify your name, Father;

       but why don’t you defeat him this time, Father, so that all your warriors can take a well earned rest for a thousand years.

   #18

Is there no other way to test the faith of my family,  to test the strength of their belief in you, Father?

Why do you let the snake loose to roam throughout my life? And throughout my home?

We have all gathered together in prayer to our Lord and Savior.

And in the name of Christ Jesus we cast light upon his slimy underbelly, slowing his slither long enough for us to retreat to the safety of your light, Father.

But he is faster than I thought, and is able to chase us down and swallow us whole into his unnerving darkness.

In the name of Jesus Christ, Lord and Savior, I call upon your light to flow out of my heart into every part of my body, and out of my body into the surrounding darkness.

Into every unseen crevice your light explodes, Father, illuminating the darkness so that he is forced to retreat beyond the depths of our existence.

   #19

From across the pages of time your hand is stretched out before me, Father, casting out evil all around.

I stand previously condemned of running in a world rampant with evil desire and consumed with self-serving motivations.

And yet you are willing to lift me up as your shining light in the midst of the unseen darkness.

I am an unworthy beacon in the storm of the life of those you lead to me, so that they may see your glory in my eyes and feel your love in my heart and know your presence emanating from within me.

However, only those you want to see will have their eyes opened, and only those you want to love will feel your hand upon their heart, and only those you want to know your everlasting glory will understand clearly.

And only those you want to be your witness, Father, will you hold up as your beacon to others.

   #20

Why, Father, have you allowed them to be raised up against me?

Everywhere I turn they are waiting in the darkness to knock me down, and kick me unmercifully.

He is calling in waves of vicious animals, wanting to tear away the helmet and shield and belt you carefully clothed me in.

And I cannot locate the sword you gave me to use to fend them off, Father!

All I can do is pull out the thorns they are driving into my flesh, holding them up to you, Father, praising your name in my time of weakness.

There was given to me a thorn in the flesh, the messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I should be exalted above measure.  For this thing I besought the Lord thrice, that it might depart from me.  And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness.  Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

2 Corinthians 12:7b-9

   #21

Who am I to think that I am more worthy of easy going times and limited struggles in this alien nation?

Did not the Apostle Paul call himself the least of all your apostles, Lord?

And yet, did you not hold him up as a shinning example of how we should deal with the people and events of this world?

Was not your grace sufficient for him in his times of troubles and weaknesses?

How minuscule then are my trials compared to his, Lord.

And yet, I stand as your witness, exemplifying how your grace is absolutely sufficient, so that in my weaknesses your light reveals your everlasting greatness, Lord.

Amen.

   #22

There are days I find it very difficult to trust that you are still working in my life, Father.

I feel your presence all around me, but I cannot feel your hand on my shoulder, directing me where to go and what to do.

These are days I go off in the wrong direction, any direction, thinking that I am supposed to do something rather than just enjoying the momentary peace you have blessed me with, Father.

   #23

You are moving quickly to close out an era of my life, Father, in which my growth in Christ was paramount.

My youth you have moved into my distant past; it was a time of learning your ways, Father, and of growing in a world devoid of spiritual leadership and without moral values.

If only you will allow me to give back but the smallest portion of your gifts to me, Father;

       so that then the future might unfold in glory to you, Father;

       and so that all who hear will understand you, and all who see will follow you.

   #24

O Lord,

       Lord of my fathers,

       Lord of all that is, and all that ever was, and all that is to be,

       you have blessed me far beyond my wildest desires.

I am not worthy of all you have provided in my life;

       I am not worthy of your unfailing love and comfort;

       and I am certainly not worthy of your unwavering grace;

       so I rejoice morning, noon, and night, singing you songs of praise and thanksgiving within my heart.

   #25

I sing you songs of praise and glory, Father; I sing you songs of praise and glory with lifted up hands and heart.

You have put me in a position of freedom and obedience simultaneously by taking away my worldly job;

and now you are asking me to put all of my trust in you, Father;

saying loudly that you will take care of me, and that you will provide for my family.

For the first time in my life I am listening with all of my being, with all that is mine and with all that is yours.

Yesterday you showed me three clear directions for my life to go in as a way to earn a living within this materialistic world.

Today you tell me clearly that any direction will do as long as my life is handed up to the service of you, Father, and to the service of my family.

I sing you songs of praise and glory, Father; I sing you songs of praise and glory, for tomorrow you will open for me a gift of opportunity.

   #26

I sing you songs of praise and thanksgiving, Father, resounding from deep within my heart.

You have delivered me from the hands of mortal men and placed me on a path toward you.

Your blessings overflow my life, spilling onto all those lost and saved you bring my way.

I sing you songs of praise and thanksgiving, Father, even though death’s master has his hands around my throat and will not let go.

He cannot strike me down now, at a time when my heart is firmly planted in you; especially when you are about to open for me a gift of opportunity.

He cannot shake me from your path; he can only squeeze tighter and tighter, until he overpowers my physical body and I receive your gift of eternity.

I sing you songs of praise and thanksgiving, Father, seeking only to glorify you, basking in your grace and in your promise.

   #27

My heart aches to stand before you, Father;

       to have blessed you with a life that is worthy of being welcomed into your presence.

I would give you my life in an instant, if in so doing I could glorify your name;

       and I would give you all that I hold dear upon this earth to glorify you in the recounting.

For my heart aches to stand before you, Father,

       to look directly into the depths of your seeing eyes,

       to kiss the strong hand that has guided me through life,

       to bow down before your greatness in the glory of a judgement of grace,

       and to be welcomed home with open arms by the greatest Father of all.

   #28

I love you, O Lord, with all my heart;

       I will sing of my love for you before all who choose to come near.

I will bow down before your mighty feet,

       and will sing songs of praise for your love and your faithfulness,

       for you are exalted above all things upon the earth and within the heavens.

When I call upon your name, you shower me with your lovingkindness;

       and I am able to grow strong within the sight of your love for me.

May all who have experienced your lovingkindness sing you songs of praise;

       lifting up your love and your faithfulness for all who come near;

For your lovingkindness inspires abounding love in return;

       and it is to your glory that your love begets love a hundredfold.

Though I walk through the trials of my faith in you every day,

       your love abounds all around me, and with it I am shielded from evil.

Your love goes before me like arrows piercing the hearts of my enemies,

       and with your love my heart overflows.

Your love fills me with your purpose for my life and directs my steps along the way.

       Your love, O Lord, endures forever; and I will never withdraw my love from you;

For I am your loving servant.

Amen.

   #29

You are always there beside me, guiding me, protecting me, loving me.

I remember you from my youth;

       it was a time my need for you was overpowering.

I remember you standing in the background patiently, even when I turned my back on you;

       it was a time of darkness in my soul.

I remember you encouraging me to return, and when I did you opened your arms wide to receive me with your love;

       it was a time of triumph over evil.

And I will remember you throughout the ages as your presence plays a prominent role in the lives of my children, and their children, and their children to come;

       it will be a time of rejoicing.

Also, that the soul be without knowledge, it is not good; and he that hasteth with his feet sinneth.

Proverbs 19:2

   #30

Why do you let me choose my own way, when you know the right way for me to go?

Why are there such large obstacles along the paths I choose for myself, while the paths you choose for me are filled with knowledge and understanding?

Why have I not learned to ask you in faith before I choose for myself?

Life’s lessons are so much easier to learn when they are of your choosing.

   #31

Fear is not a feeling present in my being when I think thoughts of you, Father.

I cannot fear my glorious King, who shows me His mercy as repayment for my transgressions.

I cannot fear my victorious Savior, who fills me overflowing with His lovingkindness and grace, even when I am undeserving.

I cannot fear my compassionate Friend, who guides me through difficult valleys of my life, directing my steps with understanding.

I cannot fear my mighty Protector, who stretches out His arm against the anger of my enemies, shielding me in His glory.

Oh no, Father, fear is not a feeling ever present when I think thoughts of you.

   #32

Father in Heaven, forgive your humble servant from the sins of my flesh.

Forgive me, for I try so hard to control the transgressions of my earthly nature.

Show me your mercy, as you have done for me in times gone by.

Strengthen me with your lovingkindness;

       Feed me understanding with your own two hands;

       Comfort me with your presence through the valleys of my life.

   #33

Show me those who do not know you, Father;

       Bring them into the presence of my caring.

Open my mouth with boldness of your mercy, O Lord;

       Bring forth words of grace to turn the heads of hatred and deceit.

Shower them with unending love of your Salvation, Father;

       and lead them out of darkness so they are no longer lost.

Lead them in lovingkindness to your side, Father;

       Bring them into your presence, and under your training, so that you might guide them in paths of righteousness for your name’s sake.

Amen.

   #34

My Father, Lord God Almighty, Creator of the heavens, and of the earth, and of the seas, and of all that lives therein.

Your power is beyond human comprehension, and yet your love and compassion for people is even greater.

You bless us with your mercy, even when we cannot walk in your righteousness;

       You bless us with your grace, even when we refuse to acknowledge you with a simple “Thank you, Lord.”

I am a sinner, and I ask you for your forgiveness for every one of my transgressions against you, and against your Word;

       Whether large or small, I ask for your forgiveness with the free will of my heart and mind and tongue.

And I ask for your forgiveness for my country, and for all the people in it.

       We have been ranked with the greatest of countries in your eyes, Lord;

       But we have forgotten that all of our greatness was a gift from your Hand, and for your glory, not ours.

       But amidst our human frailties, we have turned away from you Lord, thinking that our greatness was the making of our own hands.

I ask you for your forgiveness for my country Lord, and for all the people in it.

       I ask for your blessings in spite of our many transgressions, and in spite of our ignorance, and in spite of our enlarged egos.

       For you are a merciful God, the God of Creation, the God of Abraham, the God of my Salvation, the God of my life.

Forgive us Father, bless us with your grace, and use us to glorify yourself, not us.

       Allow us to spread salt and light across the country; hold us up as salt and light to a dark world;

       A world that seems to have learned from us and surpassed us in integrity and morality.

       Or is our time already fulfilled, a country on the wane, succumbing to our own immoral depravities,

       A country masked in darkness and greed from sea to shining sea.

Forgive us Father, for we are a country and a people who have stepped outside of your will.

       Show us your grace when we really need it, and have mercy on us,

       And mark this day in your book as the day of forgiveness for a stiff necked people who once put you first, and who can again with your help.

Amen.

   #35

You are the Father of my fathers, and I love you with my heart.

You are the Father of my brothers, and I obey you with my life.

You are the Father of my sons, and I follow you with my spirit.

You are the Father of Adam, and the Father of Christ Jesus, and through them both you are also the Father of me;

       And through your eyes I can see, and through your ears I can hear;

       And I will never again fear anything of this world.

   #36

You can dress up an unbeliever in elegant clothes,

       But where is he who really knows how to receive his blood washed, gleaming white robe.

The day will come when I will kneel before your throne,

       And in the knowledge of you I will have grown beyond my wildest dreams;

       And I will listen to the screams that cannot touch my soul,

Because seeing your face has become my life’s goal.

   #37

The sins of the world rest heavy on the heart of a righteous man;

       while the foolish go about their own business.

A heart guided by the ways of the world is an abomination to the Lord;

       and the love of the Lord to His glory.

A life lived in the service of the Lord brings peace to the spirit;

       and serving a brother brings joy to the heart.

   #38

I know you have known me from before my beginnings,

       I know because you have given me your Word, which I have lovingly placed within my heart,

       and because you have carefully set me apart from the world of your own creation;

My knowledge of you has brought elation to my spirit, with a knowledge of you, which I have recently learned;

       a knowledge of you having been burned into my heart and mind and soul from times of old;

       from times long past, when my world was still cold and uncertain.

   #39

I sing you songs of praise, O Lord;

       I praise you for the story of my life,

       a simple one, starting out in strife,

       offered up for the generations gone before me,

       to set right the paths of those who follow after me;

I sing you songs of praise, O Lord.

   #40

I am nothing without you, O Lord;

       without you I have not the works of my hands;

       without you I have not the seeds of my flesh;

       without you I have not the breath of my life;

I am nothing without you, O Lord.

   #41

With you, O Lord, I am all you want me to be;

       all is a gift from the mercy of your heart;

       all is a gift from the abundance of your riches;

       all is a gift from the testimony of your glory;

With you, O Lord, I am all you want me to be.

   #42

There are times that I have trouble following your Word.

I cannot always do what you say, when you tell me over and over again to “fear the Lord”,

       and I can find nothing but love for you in my heart, O Lord.

I want to follow you without reservation because I love you, and I love all you have done for me, and all you have given me;

       All of which I do not deserve.

I cannot understand you when you tell me He that walketh in his uprightness feareth the Lord;

       and I do not comprehend you when you say In the fear of the Lord is strong confidence.

I walk in my uprightness not because I fear you, O Lord, but because I love you, and I want to glorify you with my every step.

       In you I do have strong confidence, O Lord, because you have loved me from before my creation; and from that time forward you have always been with me, directing my steps, so that my life will be lived according to your plan, and not mine, and for your glory, and not mine.

He that walketh in his uprightness loveth the Lord; but he that is perverse in his ways despiseth him.

Proverbs 14:2

In the love of the Lord is strong confidence; and his children shall have a place of refuge.

Proverbs 14:26

   #43

Give me this day, O Lord, to shine amidst the darkness.

       You are the light shining in my life, leading me to follow your way and truth and life.

You are the light shining in my life, O Lord;

       use me as your light to shine amidst the darkness,

       use me to shine on lives who do not know you,

       use me as a beacon leading people in your direction,

       use me as a signpost along the path of life,

       use me to your glory, O Lord, to shine amidst the darkness.

   #44

I see you marching across the heavens on a great white steed,

       ready for battle, with a heavy golden sword in your mighty right hand

       and the Book of Life held against your broad chest with your left.

I see you marching across the heavens, ready to battle the evil one of old,

       ready to protect every soul whose name is written in the Book

       and ready to cast away every soul who is not.

I see you marching across the heavens, protector of your Father’s precious children;

       Saviour of the souls He has given to you before the beginnings of time.

       Come now, my Lord, to this humble servant, who is in the midst of numerous trials.

       Come now beside me.  Lend me your sword to strike down those who have risen up against you.

       Come now to clear a wide path before me, allowing me to continue marching forward in your Name here on earth.

       Come now, my Lord.

   #45

Father, King of Kings. Lord of Lord, I exalt you above all else in my heart, and in my mind, and in my soul, and in my life.

From before the beginning you have known my heart for you, and of my desire to find and to follow you, and to let your hand guide me through the wilderness.

Father, without you I am void of wisdom and understanding, without you I am but a fool following a fool’s desire and finding a fool’s treasure of emptiness.

From before the beginning you have set me apart, you have ransomed me to be your very own, and bestowed upon me priceless gifts that cannot be swallowed up by this Godless world devoid of wisdom and understanding.

Father, why me?  Why me, and not one of the family-oriented Mormons that I work with side by side every day?  Why me, and not the sister of my youth who follows the god of the Jehovah Witnesses, or one of my long time friends who follow the Pope of the Roman Catholics?  Why me, Father?

   #46

I spent the youth you gave me searching for greatness in my own eyes, and in the eyes of others,

       And all I found was emptiness in the pit of my being;

And then one day I woke up in my mid-forties, realizing that my six year old daughter needed me more that I needed greatness.

You opened my eyes, and you opened my heart, and I fell to my knees to ask your forgiveness;

       For I forgot the God of my grandfather until that glorious day in which you gave me more mercy than I deserved;

And you filled me overflowing;

       And the emptiness was eradicated forever.

   #47

Do you remember the first time in your life that you truly understood that there is a God, and that He is more powerful than you could ever imagine, and that He is truly alive and living in Heaven?

       I don’t mean the times as an adult, or even as a teenager, when you tried to find out who you are and what will bring meaning to your life;

       I mean the very first time, as a child, when you realized that there may be this all powerful Being, who lives somewhere you cannot see, and who watches over you in ways you cannot understand.

Well, I can!

       I remember it as clearly as if it happened yesterday, even though I was only about six years old at the time.

I was introduced to God by my grandfather Jacob, my mother’s father, at an age when questioning and reasoning were not a part of my character.

       I can still see so vividly in my mind’s eye the early morning light streaming through the windows as I quietly sat down beside him.

He was standing, rocking back and forth in cadence to the words he read from his black leather book with the words and the letters written in a language I could not begin to fathom.

       My grandfather would begin every day this way; every day at the crack of dawn he would get up, get dressed, and greet the day in the presence and in the worship of the living God, the God of Abraham, of Isaac, and of Jacob, the Lord God Almighty, the King of Kings, the Lord of Lords.

In fine Jewish tradition, he would wrap his forehead and his forearm with the little brown leather boxes on long brown leather straps with the words of God inside.

       He would cover his head, put on his prayer shawl, and open up his book, and begin to read, standing up, rocking back and forth so he could bow in reverence every time he read the name of God.

I remember watching him every morning we were together; I would get up early in anticipation of this special time we had together; I would look forward to that time when I could bask in the warmth of the love he had for God.

       And that love he had for God would spill out of him all day long, in any and every situation, and with all who came into his presence.

And afterward, when he was done reading and praying and worshiping God, he would explain to me little bits of what he read, in words that could be understood by a six year old.

       He told me stories of how God loved His people so much.

He told me stories of how God protected and took care of those who loved Him, and worshiped Him, and put Him first in their life.

       He told me stories that now I can read for my self in the Bible; and when he told them to me they came alive with the majesty and the love of God for His children.

And he told me how much God loved me, and how He would always be with me, watching over me, and protecting me, throughout my entire life.

       He told me of a love that would never depart from me.

He told me of a love that has been within my heart ever since.

       He showed me first hand the power and the glory of God’s love, a love that can change lives, a love that has changed my life from the inside out.

Thank you, Lord, for putting him in my early life and for keeping alive my fond memories of his love for You.

       Amen.

   #48

I have established with thee, O Lord, an everlasting covenant of obedience;

       obedience to your Word, and obedience to your Will for my life.

I will seek you continually in obedience, and will train my children and their children to also seek you continually in obedience;

       and to all whom you give me opportunity, I will instruct in obedience to you as well.

   #49

The night lingers on without an end in sight, and the surrounding light remains very low, with only a faint glow from a distant street light bouncing silently off the living room wall.

       I can feel the presence of many unseen earthly messengers dancing through my consciousness, invading my awareness with thoughts not taught me by my Lord.

I cannot call to them on my own; they do not listen to a grown man calling to them from the dark; nor do they respond to the mortal bark of a frantic father chasing them away from his children.

       I can feel the presence of these unseen earthly messengers dancing through my house, yet there is nothing that I can do to them on my own; I am powerless to protect my family without your help, my Lord.

But in you, Lord, I am able to do everything that is good and right, I can cast them away from my sight and from my house.

       Evil ones unseen, I cast you out in the name of Jesus Christ; I cast you out of my children, I cast you out of my wife, I cast you out of my house, and I cast you out of my life.

       I cast you out in the name of my Saviour, and in the name of my Protector; I cast you out in the name of Righteousness; I cast you out in the name of Jesus Christ, and there is nothing you can do but leave,

       for His powers greatly exceed those of all your army, and those of your fallen leader; for the power of light will always win out over the power of darkness.  You will always stand in the starkness of your treachery, to run and hide at the mere mention of His Glory.

   #50

You are the God of glory, the first and the last, and the only, who loves each one of us without end.

       To you alone, my God, I pledge my life in an everlasting covenant of obedience.

Make known your will for me; direct my steps amidst the darkness which surrounds me.

       I submit my will to you, my God, with unbroken trust, knowing you will preserve me everlasting in your light, morning, noon, and night, guiding me to do that which is right in your eyes, ignoring the cries of evil all around me.

   #51

You pledge your life to Joseph Smith, Jr., just like your fathers before you, and as you instruct your sons who follow.

You follow a group of latter day saints who believe that God revealed things not mentioned in His Word;

And who believe that God decided to change His mind on that which was previously revealed, finally telling the truth about His Son.

My heart cries out for you and for your family; and I pray incessantly for God to show you the error of your beliefs.

I pray continually that God opens your heart, and mind, and eyes to that which I can see and know so clearly.

I pray that God unmistakably reveals to you the true Jesus Christ, His only begotten Son, who alone can offer you salvation for your soul, and who alone can bring you into the presence of the one and only true God.

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

John 3:16

Thus saith the Lord the King of Israel, and his redeemer the Lord of hosts; I am the first, and I am the last; and beside me there is no God.

Isaiah 44:6

And when I saw him, I fell at his feet as dead. And he laid his right hand upon me, saying unto me, Fear not; I am the first and the last: I am he that liveth, and was dead; and, behold, I am alive for evermore, Amen; and have the keys of hell and of death.

Revelation 1:17-18

   #52

There is but one God, who is the Father of all that exists.

       He was not born.  He will never die.  He does not change in any way, or shape, or form, or thought.  He has never taught us that He was once a mortal man of flesh and bone just like you and I.

       He was, before anything was made that is made.  He is, throughout all eternity the same.  He will be, He who judges all things at His appointed time, deciding who will live with Him in Heaven and who will be cast forever into the lake of fire.  He will never tire after all that was is gone.

Besides Him, there is no other God.

   #53

I sing you a tale of two people,

       both different,

       both once walking in your will, O Lord.

One a working woman of a working husband,

       with a baby in daycare,

       and a job that does not care about leaving her room for life.

And the other one a white-haired gentleman,

       with a wife left home in St. Louis,

       and three grown children scattered around the country,

       and a job that keeps him out of town for eight to ten days at a time.

I sing you a tale of two people,

       both different,

       both wrestling with memories of you, O Lord.

One a working woman who stepped outside your will for a while,

       to get married, to take a job, to move away, and to have a child,

       who woke up suddenly from a momentary transgression

to find her life over here within the world

       and your will over there, somewhere different,

       and with a heart that will repent and a strong desire to reenter your tent of love.

The other one a white-haired gentleman who shut his heart to you amidst his teenage years,

       crying many tears within his heart for a father who lost his love of people somewhere along the years of providing for his family,

       and for a mother who loved only you, with a vengeance, at the shattered expense of those she kept reminding of your righteousness.

He had no other defense against their hatred, other than to cast them out of his life with all of the hatred he could muster;

       he had no other defense against their hatred, other than to cast you out along with them,

       feeling sorry for himself because of the lack of mercy he felt from you;

and now he is a white-haired gentleman who speaks his mind about everything,

       but who has a void inside his soul the size of the Grand Canyon because he will not allow himself to love a God who he feels let him down many years ago,

       and because he will not allow himself to be loved by a God who he feels did not force his parents to love him as a child growing up in middle America.

I sing you a tale of two people, O Lord,

       both different,

       both searching for something to fill your home within their heart.

   #54

You show me a world gone mad with perversities,

       a world where all the universities teach our children to worship only themselves,

to glory in the deep wells of their own being,

       to define what they are seeing in terms of their own idea of right and wrong;

they learn to sing their own song of praise to the god they believe resides within,

       to the god who can define what is sin and what is not,

to the god who sits not upon the throne in heaven.

They are all unleavened, without your mercy and without your salvation;

       they are all your creation, without your knowledge and without your understanding,

blinded by the angle of light, who is standing between them and you,

       who is guiding them to pursue a path of destruction.

   #55

You are the Lord God Almighty, the God of Abraham, of Isaac, and of Israel;

       your glory reigns supreme from everlasting to everlasting;

       your victory over the evil one is guaranteed, since you created everything in the beginning and you will judge everyone at the end, and all the events in between are according to your plan.

You answered Elijah with fire, consuming his burnt offering, and the wood alter, and the twelve stones of the foundation, and the water poured into the pit, and the pit itself,

       when he called upon your name to show the people you are the one and only true God, and the prophets of Baal were false prophets duped by the evil one.

You answered Elisha by ridding Naaman of his pride and his leprosy, and by answering Gehazi’s greed for money and fine clothes,

       when you instructed Naaman to dip himself seven times in the Jordan River to cleanse him of his leprosy, and when you punished Gehazi with leprosy for taking payment from Naaman.

And I trust you will answer my prayers for wisdom and boldness and protection in my witnessing for you and against the angle of light,

       when I ask that you allow your light and your glory to shine through the darkness with which the great deceiver has engulfed my two friends who follow the ways of Mormonism.

I trust you will answer my prayers according to your promise,

       when I ask you to spare the lives of my lost friends and their families,

       just as you answered the prayers of others by sparing my life and those of my family.

My soul grieves for their loss, and yet my heart is filled with great joy, knowing the victory can be yours;

       yes, the victory is yours, Father.

   #56

Make bold my tongue, Father.

Put your words of witness in my mouth, and fill me overflowing with your lovingkindness

       so that all who here my boldness for you will be touched by your Holy Spirit,

       so that all who here my boldness for you will have their eyes opened to the sight of your presence, and their heart opened to feeling your glory.

Make bold my tongue, Father, that you shall be glorified, and that your works shall be visible to all.

Make bold my tongue, Father, so you can reap the harvest, in due season, of those seeds which fall upon fertile ground;

       and the glory is all yours, Father.

Amen.

   #57

How many times, O Lord, will you knock upon his door unanswered?

       How many times, O Lord, before you will never knock again?

Your hand reached out and preserved his life and limb when as a child his legs became mutilated, and doctors wanted to amputate,

       but you sent a young surgeon who made whole that which was torn apart.

Your hand reached out and caught him in mid air when as an adult he slipped and fell off of the roof of his house and lay unconscious on the ground,

       for you revived him to walk away unhurt.

How many times, O Lord, will you knock upon his door unanswered?

       How many times, O Lord, before you will never knock again?

Please, O Lord, do not turn your back on him now.

       Put the right words into my mouth so he will believe that you exist.

Fill me overflowing with your love, O Lord, so he will feel your presence unmistakably, the way I do.

       Use me as your messenger, O Lord, so he will commit his life to you, and in so doing reserve himself a place in your presence for ever.

Amen.

   #58

I ask but a simple request, O Lord:

       Continue to bless me overflowing by using me to do your work here on earth.

Praise and glory be unto you, O Lord.

       Amen.

   #59

I walk in your light, Lord, blessed beyond my ability to comprehend.

       Dwelling in my heart and soul is your lovingkindness overflowing.

In walking with you, Lord, comes a greater knowing;

       My eyes seeing the happenings of another world, previously hidden;

       My mind comprehending all the many principalities and powers that hide just beyond the circle of light that surrounds me.

Your light shields me, Lord, and for that I am eternally grateful.

       Amen.

   #60

O Lord, I come before you stripped naked of my own desires.

       I humble myself before you and ask for your forgiveness for the lusts of my flesh, thinking I can accomplish your will my own way.

Forgive me, O Lord, for my transgressions acted out of the ignorance of pride.

       Forgive me, O Lord, and do not hold my weaknesses against the account of my family.

Show them the greatness of your mercy and your love by replacing my feet upon the path you have chosen for me.

       Hold me fast, O Lord, to your heart and do not let me stray from your steps.

Amen.

   #61

My faith and trust are in you, Lord.

       I will follow your lead even when it makes no sense according to the measures established by this world,

       for your rod and your staff define a different set of measures, a set born of righteousness and of love.

You place me upon the highest mountain top in all the earth, with all the world visible to my uncovered eyes, and ask me to take one small step forward.

       You ask me to step out in faith and trust from the security of the solid ground;

       you ask me to step out upon the solid rock, which is invisible to the untrained eye,

       and I do, and I am safe.

My heart’s desire is to serve you in obedience always.

       My faith and trust are in you, Lord.

   #62

There are many words with which I can praise you, O Lord;

       but I find the best are those of your servant David.

Know ye that the Lord he is God: it is he that hath made us, and not we ourselves; we are his people, and the sheep of his pasture.  Enter into his gates with thanksgiving, and into his courts with praise: be thankful unto him, and bless his name.  For the Lord is good; his mercy is everlasting; and his truth endureth to all generations.

Psalm 100:3-5

I praise you for your faithfulness, O Lord.

       My heart is filled overflowing with love for you, my God, for your hand rests firmly upon my shoulder, comforting me within the valleys of life, and guiding me to the other side.

I praise you for your mercy, O Lord.

       My steps do not always fit completely within yours, my Lord, for I find I stray to the right or to the left before I realize what I have done, even though my heart always wants to place my feet directly within the steps you have drawn for me.

I praise you with my love, O Lord.

       I praise you with my continued commitment to serve you in obedience.  I praise you with my life.

   #63

I rest in your peacefulness, Father;

       for I have followed your will in obedience after searching my own desires and hearing yours spoken to me clearly.

I have weighed the two upon the scales of life and have tipped them unmistakably in your favor;

       for obedience, carried in my hands with love, is my precious gift to you, placed openly at your feet for all the world to see.

   #64

Tucson is the home of many unbelievers, Lord.

Some follow a God who once was a man, and a Jesus Christ who is the brother of Satan.

Some follow a God who has no teeth, a God who will not punish for the transgression of sin, a God who will accept you into his presence just because you are a good person.

Some follow no God at all, but only their own desires and their own rules, for that is all they can touch, for that is all they can reasonably control.

None of them follow the living God of creation, the true God of Abraham, the Father of the living Christ, who died for our sins and was raised and now sits in heaven at the right hand of the Father, the God of love and mercy and second chances, the God of retribution and separation of those who turn their back on Him.

And none of them follow the living God, who holds the scales of life in His right hand.

   #65

I cannot accomplish the task on my own, Father.

       All I can do is pray that you will grace him with your mercy.

I pray that you will show him your everlasting glory,

       touch him with your holiness,

       let him feel your light shining upon his head.

I pray that you will do for him these things I ask,

       for I believe my witnessing has touched a nerve of desire within him.

He hungers to be shown the truth,

       but he is probably still too proud to ask,

       for he is confused by his own logical thinking.

And so I will ask for him.

       In my prayers I beseech you for him.

Show him your everlasting glory,

       touch him with your holiness,

       let him feel your light shining upon his head.

Use his life, O Lord, to glorify only you.

       Amen.

   #66

As David was pursued by his enemies for all the days of his youth

       he put his faith in his God, the God of Abraham, and Isaac, and Jacob.

He put his faith in his God, who led him through foreign lands,

       who surrounded him with faithful followers in small numbers.

He put his faith in his God and followed one foot after another,

       not knowing where he was being led.

He both feared his God and loved his God enough to follow faithfully

       wherever and whenever he was told.

And he was redeemed from the difficulties life presented

       and blessed far beyond that which was reasonably deserved.

He was faithful beyond logic,

       and he was blessed beyond reason.

He was faithful to his God, the Lord God Almighty, the Creator of Heaven and Earth.

He was faithful to you Lord,

       and I will follow you also of my own free will.

   #67

I am on the bright side;

       on the side of the Lord,

       whose mercy endures for ever.

I am walking on your right side;

       you put your right arm around me,

       guiding me with your love.

I am walking along side of you,

       through deep valleys and over high mountain tops,

       yielding the desire of my will to the strength of your will.

I choose to walk by faith along side of you,

       not knowing where you will lead me,

       knowing only that you will love me for ever.

   #68

Why is it, O Lord, that some don’t know you?

       They don’t know your mercy;

       they don’t know your love;

       they don’t know the gentle touch of your hand.

Why is it, O Lord, that some don’t know you?

       No matter how much they search for you in all the wrong places,

       looking into other faces for a love that will never satisfy.

Why is it, O Lord, that some don’t know you?

       And why is it that some know you better than they would ever feel comfortable admitting to?

Why is it, O Lord, that some don’t know you,

       and others do?

   #69

I am walking through burning battlefields, all are being consumed by your enemy.

       I look to the right and to the left, and I see your precious saints falling to the ground with wounds from flaming arrows.

The battle rages out of control all around me, with death’s dark mercenaries breaking through the front lines

       as if they were defended by colorful Lego walls and brightly colored plastic people, who have neither the training nor the ability nor the will to fight against the unceasing onslaught.

I can feel them all around me now, salivating at the thought of capturing another soul, turning it to their side.

       I cannot resist of my own free will; I have neither the strength nor the ability to fight against the dark waves successfully, and they know it.

That is why they keep trying.

The time appears to be right, from my perspective, Lord.

       You are my only hope for winning the fight.

I am defenseless without you.

       You are the author of my salvation and the finisher of my fight.

You are the conqueror, Lord, and I am the conquered.

       You are the Father and I am in the Son.

You are the only one who can defeat the forces of his darkness.

       All I can do is put my faith in you, and wait.

You pick the time.

       You choose up the sides.

You bring the weapons.

       You determine the playing field.

You decide who will be wounded.

       You decide who will die.

You decide who will change sides.

       You decide who will triumph.

The victory is all yours, as is the praise and the glory,

       as well as the telling of the story.

All the praise and all the glory

       is yours.

Amen.

   #70

When you were growing up, you wanted my love; and I gave it freely overflowing to you.

You wanted my presence in your life, even though we could not live in the same house together.

At least I was able to remain close by, in the background of your life, and see you as often and as regular as your mother would allow.

You have no idea how deep rooted the pain was, knowing that I was close by but could only participate in a small corner of your life.

There was no way I could be the father I wanted to be; and there was no way I could be the kind of father you needed or wanted.

Circumstances beyond our control have driven a wedge between our lives, and between our love for each other.

By the time you made it into college and began to make it in the world, on your own, with lots of help from your mother and I, you seemed to want your independence much more than you wanted my love.

I tried talking to you about it many times, like we used to talk in the past; but you responded as though I was speaking a little known Martian dialect which had become extinct centuries before.

So all I could do was to be there for you when you decided you needed me, which grew from not very often to hardly ever to never.

And my little corner of your life began to shrink even smaller beyond my control; and the wedge was driven even deeper.

When you grew up and graduated from college and went to work in an area I knew you loved most of your life, I was oh so very proud of you, like the pride you can see shining in the eyes of a new father.

When you decided to get married to a man who seemed to treat you nicely and appeared to love you the way I knew you needed to be loved, I was oh so very proud of you, again.

But when you invited me to your wedding, and told me you did not want me to give you away, I felt the wedge between us being driven oh so very deeply, and the chasm became wider and deeper than the Grand Canyon.

I was hurt and I cried and I mourned for a relationship which could have been oh so very close, but which was driven apart by the circumstances of life.

My heart has grieved for many years now,

       praying to my Lord that you are doing well,

       praying to Him that He should love you as much as your father does,

       praying that He would watch over you and protect you when I can not,

       praying that He would lessen the hurt, which I still feel, with His love.

   #71

My mind is cluttered with thoughts not worthy of you, Lord.

       My mind is overflowing with memories of things not done to your glory.

My mind is screaming with lists of things not yet done, and not really very important in the big picture of life.

       My mind is undisciplined when it comes to worshiping you, my Lord.

Sometimes no matter how hard I try to push the noise out of my head, I wind up in stead completely unable to focus my thoughts on you.

You are my reason for living, you are the author of my salvation, you are the glorious one who directs my faith into areas never before deemed possible,

       and yet today I find myself unable to direct my mind toward pleasant thoughts of you.

Today the noise gets in the way of my worship and praise of you, Lord, but do not think for a moment that I love you any less because of it.

       Do not think for a moment, Lord, that I am any less committed today, than yesterday, to keep you in charge of my life and liberty and free will.

Do not think for a moment, Lord, that you are to take second place in any part of my life.

But today I need you to reach out to me, to guide my heart through the clutter of my mind.

       Today I need to find you battling the army of evil trying to come between us.

Today, as was the case yesterday, and as will be the case tomorrow, I need you to still the thoughts not pleasing to you,

       to fill my heart with gratitude and my mind with silent memories of your glory in my life,

to fill me overflowing with the purity of your love.

   #72

Love in the city,

       Love in the suburbs,

Love not spoken of

       in times of need.

Love delivered

       without any greed.

   #73

You work in ways, O Lord God Almighty, in ways I can not comprehend.

Your ways are as mysterious to me as the act of creation itself.

I do not understand how life can spring forth from nothingness.

From a single act of love is a bouncing baby boy given life in your own image.

From a single act of love is your plan placed in motion.

From a single act of love will your hopes and your dreams be realized.

Millions of souls shall be touched and called to action.

Battle lines will be drawn in the sand, and a new era will unfold before your eyes.

Some will see and understand, and others will not.

Some will know what is happening, and others will not.

A few will be raised up for the occasion by God’s word spoken through him, and many others will run for the cover of darkness.

But I must confess that nothing shall remain as it was before.

   #74

Speak to me Lord, guide me with your right hand.

       I stand ready, at another junction in life’s road.

I could probably go either way and eventually get to where it is you want me to be.

       One way might take a little longer than the other.

One way might cause me to endure more trials than the other.

       One way just might cause me to learn more about you Lord, and therefore more about myself.

I could go straight ahead, and turn my consulting job into a full time one, even though you specifically told me not to do it.

       For, after all, it is the first time in a very long time where the people treat me nicely, and many friendships flourish.

It would mean moving my family out of the Bay Area, to a better quality of life, something I have wanted for a very long time.

       It would mean selling our house, and getting out of debt completely, buying another house with the accumulated equity.

It would mean going directly against your stated will for me, and no matter how great the opportunity on a worldly level, I can not do it.

       My life is committed to obedience to you Lord.

I could take a giant step backwards, and return to California, walking away from the possibility of a full time job.

       Replacing it with the uncertainties of finding another consulting opportunity.

Putting my family in a position of jeopardy, not having any income for a while.

       Would it be a short while?  Or would it be a long while?

Would it be tolerable?  Or would it be intolerable?

       Would we be forced to sell our house because we could not make the necessary monthly payments?

Or would the Lord provide another consulting opportunity, as he promised he would do?

All I have to do is to stop meddling in areas I do not belong.

       All I have to do is to be obedient to what he has said, and to what he has promised.

All I have to do is to let him work his miracles in my life, so that the glory will be his completely.

I could even try to take a step in a different direction, looking for another opportunity to do his work.

       That would show him how serious I am about following his lead for my life.

Even if it means disregarding exactly what he has said to me.

       Even if it means going directly against his will to do it.

But that does not make any sense either, so I guess I will have to stop trying to make opportunities happen for him.

       I guess it is time to stop trying to implement God’s will for my life in my own way.

I guess the time has finally come to say:  “I give up Lord.  You work the miracles.  And I will enjoy the journey.”

   #75

How do I know, Lord?

Can you tell me the correct way?

       How do I know what it is you say in response to my many questions?

Do you talk so I can hear your voice within my cluttered mind,

       or do I just find you guiding my thoughts?

Do you speak through your Word while I read it each day,

       or do you show me your way in visions during prayer?

How do I know, Lord, if you really care?

   #76

I know you are speaking to me, Father.

       I know you are trying to grab hold of my attention with your answers to my many questions.

I know you are speaking to me, Father;

       but your voice is being drowned out by the noises of living all around me.

I try to shut them out long enough to listen;

       so why is it I cannot discern your words, spoken oh so softly?

   #77

All is for my love of thee, O Lord,

       All is for my love of thee,

All else is vanity, O Lord,

       All is for my love of thee.

   #78

The ball of life is batted back and forth between he who lives and He who is.

       The dog of my youth is tied up in the basement, unable to come after me, not barking, just waiting for the proper time.

The ball gets accidentally knocked down the stairs, bouncing to the bottom, out of the reach of the dog’s biting teeth.

       He who is follows it down the stairs, retrieving the ball before the straining dog breaks his bonds to get it in his drooling mouth.

Three days later the ball is returned amidst the cheering crowd of onlookers, and the match continues.

Top

part 2

obsessions

written 2007 through 2008

   #79

my heart seeks after the shadow

       of Your presence Father

i cannot bother

       with the doings of this world

which overwhelms

       and destroys

to them we are just toys

       to be transformed

into objects of need

       and greed and glory

a well worn story

but to You O Lord

       i am the crowning glory

of Your creation

       a world in constant anticipation

of You

You wrote Your story

       in the flesh of my heart

setting me apart

       for only You

   #80

O Lord my God

       i have displeased You

i have not been

       absolutely true

to my promise

       vowed obedience

but now i ask

       for Your forgiveness

mercy grace and

       Your loving kindness

and Your promise

       of cleansed uncleanness

   #81

O how great a gift i have been given

holiness and righteousness Yours alone

all transgression by my God forgiven

with repentance that demands i atone

incapable of living life Your way

understanding no other choice abound

no teacher prophet nor human repay

my debt collected with int’rest compound

forgiveness of God’s only Son avail

removing sin from precious soul’s account

abundant mercy grace and truth prevail

believing blood and resurrection count

       salvation election Your choice divine

       choosing life over death’s reward is mine

   #82

little one my baby girl all grown up

flying off to college before the sun

raised on meat my Lord’s pleasant table sup

Your saving Word in heart on lips begun

temptation ever before focused eyes

teaching talking training her in Your way

a world around her lost in frantic cries

proud parents preparation for today

people’s disguises no longer hidden

seeing eyes penetrating to the truth

always straying from world’s fruit forbidden

desiring Your teaching learning from ruth

       God’s wisdom understanding world that flatters

       heaven’s heart desiring One who matters

   #83

strong tower shelter from the enemy

hidden under wings that cover me

Your name standing above every other

even father mother sister brother

seeking Your face early in the morning

praying wanting crying Your will dawning

directing my feet along straightened path

any other direction brings forth Your wrath

obedience always Your heart’s desire

from which i neither shrink nor seem to tire

my heart’s commitment following Your lead

standing counted among abraham’s seed

       neither knowledge nor understanding prevails

       when faithfulness in Godly heart avails

   #84

once i saw in all Your glory sitting

light’s illumination then emitting

a picture of the One and Only King

surrounded on Your throne by all who sing

today that image has faded to black

death’s dark demons mounting vicious attack

unable to see Your glory O Lord

only feel the weightiness of Your sword

my life now lived in anticipation

of seeing the author of creation

there comes a day when all Your truth’s revealed

my glorious Lord’s gift of heaven sealed

       in need of Your help patiently waiting

       hopeful confident anticipating

   #85

new mornings entering into Your presence

drawing near bowing before Your essence

unable to see unable to hear

just knowing that my mighty God is near

new mornings calling on Your Holy name

drawing closer approaching Your bright flame

knowing sensing feeling You here today

sweeping my unrighteousness far away

new mornings shower dress drink my coffee

driving thinking adrift amidst a sea

working weekdays ‘til precious time complete

teaching Your word loving discussion’s heat

       Your work my comfort feeling passion’s love

       bills paid nerves frayed family taken care of

   #86

God stands calling in the front of the room

follow Me to escape the coming gloom

hear My truth learn My lessons know My word

no more standing in the midst of the herd

sun darkens moon’s crimson stars falling down

God’s wrath descends on iniquity’s clown

a life sown in self loathing importance

not even considering repentance

no remorse no mourning no humbleness

never seeing sin’s standard to confess

what a mess your selfish life has displayed

with God’s second chance how’d it be replayed

       ask for it in truth and sincerity

       maybe God will give you lucidity

   #87

i wish you knew His goodness as i do

He alone represents all that is true

you follow after your own heart’s desire

unaware your soul’s headed for the fire

attending San Jose State for design

another woman in your bed supine

the world’s ways seep through cracks in the walls

fame and fortune standing at your door calls

which way do you go which way do you turn

following the path you’re on breeds concern

i feel it in your eyes and in your hug

life’s conquests reduced to a shoulder shrug

       do you choose to continue along your way

       or stop stand your ground spread your arms and pray

   #88

receive God’s word with your heart hearing

never to depart life lived with soul cheering

incline your ear to hear wisdom spoken

never to depart life lived with soul broken

cry after knowledge with your voice raised loud

always standing separate from the crowd

seek after Him and to Christ He will draw

always standing separate from the law

grasp God’s Spirit of understanding life

producing mercy justice free from strife

hear His discernment flowing from within

producing mercy justice free from sin

       fear of the Lord gives life enduring forever

       judgments of the Lord are true altogether

   #89

knocking at Your door i stand

heart held out in shaking hand

across the line in the sand

every morning my voice cries

bowels groaning quiet sighs

this old life never denies

You my Lord and King so grand

looking in i see Your throne

jeweled beauty never known

Your love’s passion in me grown

seeking help on my knee bent

my prayers with fragrance sent

worship always my intent

from this life living on loan

in Your presence drawing near

in You Lord i never fear

to Your voice i always hear

to Your words softly guiding

in my heart secret hiding

on wings of eagles riding

seeing knowing my eyes tear

   #90

place your foot upon the Rock

worry not about the clock

draw closer to His essence

keep your eyes on His presence

through the world in silence sift

quickly grabbing for His gift

‘cause you belong to His flock

your need for Him exceed all

each morning feeling so small

crying out for this or that

sounding like a little brat

need something easily done

just another little one

‘cause you belong in His call

cast your eyes upon His seat

ever sensing evil’s heat

wanting needing all His grace

shining brightly on your face

looking seeing He is there

healing broken heart laid bare

‘cause you belong at His feet

   #91

in the beginning God’s Word created

heaven and earth leapt into existence

night day dark and light were not debated

land trees and plants offered no resistance

sun moon and stars light the sky show the way

for the animals in sea air and earth

human beings created the sixth day

quickly rebelling need another birth

eve is deceived by slithering serpent

adam follows eating forbidden fruit

sin shouts to be caught needing to repent

covered with God’s promised salvation suit

       heaven’s battle begins the world’s decline

       forcing man to turn to the Lord divine

   #92

“eat from the tree and you shall surely die”

said God about His special knowledge tree

but the serpent’s subtle convincing lie

removed doubt for good and evil to see

the woman saw its fruit was good for food

desiring to be like God she did eat

she offered it and man too disobeyed

ignored God’s command and ate with deceit

the woman will want to be the husband

and the man must work and sweat to survive

creation winds down destroying the land

beginning life’s struggle to stay alive

       so the battle of life and death begins

       and only by faith God removes our sins

   #93

each brother attempts to do what was asked

thinking God most desires our first fruit

the true meaning of the request was masked

when obedience our only pursuit

shed blood alone the proper offering

yet does not cover intentional sin

cain presents his heart’s desire sighing

pushing against God’s perfect will to win

when confronted he rose up in pride

shedding instead his brother able’s blood

murder committed and nowhere to hide

the leaking puddle turned the ground to mud

       repentance not considered in his heart

       so God cast him out marked for death apart

   #94

evil reigns upon the face of the earth

when sons of seth marry daughters of cain

God seeing man’s doings questioned their worth

and with sorrow in His heart brought on rain

but noah found grace in God’s searching eyes

a just man in all his generation

amidst violence corruption and lies

the end of flesh comes at His destruction

God’s covenant established with noah

eight souls saved from wrath against the wicked

ark’s foreshadowed promise to isaiah

of the One to come for His elected

       some of every kind marched into the ark

       emerging into the light from the dark

   #95

patience ponders pending pleasures past due

Satan sending certain outcomes to flee

unable to touch those belonging true

empty worldly wantonness flowing free

desperate damsel demanding more time

fame and fortune grabbing ‘round soft sweet throat

shaken sullen soul giving her rhyme

spoken in conversation’s caustic gloat

deepening devotions drawing too close

success seething beneath silent surface

almost spoken laughingly too verbose

writhing willfully midst wisdom’s distress

       cannot complete your travels on road laid bare

       when His distractions made clear your despair

   #96

God said to abram leave behind haran

and go to the land of promise shown you

in obedience a nation began

to bless all families with promises true

canaan’s land given to His unborn seed

the Holy One of promise yet to come

to Him Prophet of moses you will heed

and to His commandments you will succumb

abram stood before the Lord without heir

knowing one could not come through barren wife

yet seed’s promised number cannot compare

with uncounted stars of heaven so rife

       and so abram believed the Lord’s promise

       who added to his account righteousness

   #97

ninety years have slipped silently away

each one lived as a child of avrahim

cannot technology show you the way

God’s gracious gift never what it would seem

friendship blossoms regardless of season

one wants a lasting legacy to leave

the other driven by deeper reason

a precious soul for my God to reprieve

cannot you hear truth quietly spoken

the words of God trumpeting loud and clear

the battle fought out of sight and hidden

when principalities of darkness near

       i know not what directs your heart today

       yet God’s in control no matter the way

   #98

two sons born amidst the tumult of life

first ishmael to a young handmaiden

then isaac promised to a barren wife

through the ages always trouble laden

one wild and lacking moral rectitude

forever at odds with those around him

fighting against another multitude

relationship over time growing dim

the other in covenant of promise

with God requiring obedience

even at the brink of death’s door rejoice

mercy’s offer for future covenance

       isaac’s sacrifice Messiah portends

       upon whose blood salvation’s gift depends

   #99

does not Your Holy Spirit offer me

blessings beyond my imagination

relationship with God alive can be

filled with unforeseen anticipation

Your words spoken through Him quietly known

reminding me of promised provision

Your seeds of salvation silently sown

within my heart escaping detection

yet results abound all around me near

having more then needed for my journey

family friends all those i hold so dear

as i seek Your face clear on bended knee

       Your closeness Lord is all i desire

       prayer for which i will never tire

   #100

promises freely given to abram

so willing to follow You wherever

and then You changed his name to abraham

father of many nations forever

unnumbered multitude for promise given

at the time deuteronomy opens

following idol images driven

and separation grown silent deepens

promised land of canaan also received

at the end of joshua’s leadership

yet each did what was in his heart deceived

disobedience breaking fellowship

       Your seed of promise stands above all other

       Jesus Christ precious gift from our Father

   #101

does not eternity call out aloud

a melody so sweet within my ear

people standing all around in a crowd

Your spoken sound which they can never hear

temptation stands before me now knocking

a clever disguise to draw me away

remembered self confidence now blocking

as Your call recedes to another day

cannot You break through the strong barrier

with Your sweet sounding softly spoken word

new days arise within without waiver

seeking out again that which i once heard

       Your voice flows through green meadows to my mind

       leading me back to Your presence i find

   #102

father abraham a man of wisdom

faith earned first place within God’s history

tested by time his will to overcome

asked to offer isaac to God’s glory

following God to offer his own son

his only son ready for sacrifice

in obedience it was to be done

until replacement came a ram His price

shadows fall from long into the future

from a time when another Son offered

setting right past man’s fallen nature

who cannot follow His way not preferred

       covenant born in Him who does obey

       covering our sin for another day

   #103

desire stirs each day for You my Lord

old feelings back anew in Your power

narrow path never known to common hoard

who run at mention of Your strong tower

Your glory cannot easily be shown

even to those who call upon Your name

no matter how great expectation grown

sin and transgression only You can tame

mercy grace longsuffering Your true gift

for all who believe the work of the cross

humble contrite mourning soul You will lift

for all who receive forgiveness and loss

       abundant in goodness and truth are You

       justice repaying accordingly due

   #104

within Your will i will walk each day saying

to You belongs glory honor and praise

to You Abba in heaven now praying

supplication and thanksgiving i raise

fool’s hearts believe boldly You exist not

seeing nothing pointing them otherwise

missing faith’s precious gift what have they got

but a lonely life lived as heart’s devise

diligence fills me seeking every day

knowledge completely knowing my reward

faith growing within me always to stay

heaven’s protection forever out poured

       boldness pursues Your door loudly knocking

       escaping from a world coldly mocking

   #105

leaving the temple You are clearly seen

even solomon cannot contain tears

captivity snares every single teen

babylon’s hostages seventy years

on the mount of olives You stand weeping

for a nation not able to obey

Your Holy Place covered with vines creeping

when destruction comes that fateful day

discourse boldly describing future event

the end will arrive with violence felt

believer nor jew could never prevent

one flees and the other disaster dealt

       promises made of an end as received

       salvation poured out on those who believed

   #106

love overflows unseen with conviction

faith’s fragrant realization not denied

sacrifice offered for Your inspection

amidst the world’s darkest evils decried

cannot anyone appease Your justice

when surrounded by those who disobey

sacrificial blood the common practice

for sin’s pernicious debt we must repay

faith demands we walk within Your presence

an honor born believing You exist

however none could approach Your essence

unless seeking You daily we persist

       by faith we follow wherever You lead

       knowing the rewarder of those who heed

   #107

which way O Lord do i turn for relief

when nothing i do seems to be correct

going this way brings overwhelming grief

when action demands it’s You i reject

how can i turn my back on You my Lord

when kindness and provision are given

i could turn to inaction and be bored

waiting for You O Lord until heaven

watching resources dwindle to nothing

as i wait for You to make my way clear

listening for words that tell me something

words of many waters i cannot hear

       waiting upon You for which way to go

       knowing that in You it is faith i show

   #108

predestination’s battle rages on

while day’s length is pounded on an anvil

discussions of darwin never far gone

amidst people’s politics of evil

salvation’s followers argue one’s loss

and how can one chosen choose his own fate

goodness just hidden among refined dross

and politeness a veneer over hate

God’s prosperity preaching fiercely fought

while faith’s unwanted outcome hidden in darkness

people’s expectations of wealth from naught

driving passion for living out cruelness

       arguments rage over nits on a pin

       while perishing people die in their sin

   #109

no one O Lord can understand Your ways

no matter how long we have studied You

we can live life looking our many days

and never know a single answer true

how then Lord can anyone ever know

Your justice and mercy tempered by love

and yet the backdrop of life’s awesome show

contains miracles never spoken of

how then O Lord has a world not believed

the only true and living God revealed

while man follows a heart of sin conceived

hidden in darkness and always concealed

       You are a God beyond understanding

       with love and obedience demanding

   #110

You light my way O Lord so i might see

the path before me once dark and hidden

now from evil’s treachery i can flee

following along life’s path now bidden

looking back i can see how You did lead

devastation’s draw to the left and right

walking up the middle it’s You i heed

directing my steps even in the night

looking forward i cannot see the way

only enough light for a short distance

placing each foot only after i pray

following Your path without resistance

       Your Word illuminates understanding

       knowing obedience You’re demanding

   #111

Your faithfulness is life’s only given

provided when needed without asking

protection and provision from heaven

my Lord’s love and mercy now unmasking

honor and glory offered in return

whenever opportune times will allow

no longer living on my own to learn

as i approach on bended knee to bow

worshiping gratefully at my Lord’s feet

singing heartfelt songs of Your victory

drawn in close to Your radiant light’s heat

as You bring to an end all history

       always faithful from beginning to end

       interceding each time i need a friend

   #112

i write many wonderful heartfelt words

to the steadfast guardian of my soul

Your flowing fountain filling many voids

surrendering all that i am my goal

clear visions exploding in heart and mind

so i may know better the One i serve

freely following You one step behind

never once allowing me to loose nerve

pictures painted with words portray my love

for my Lord my savior and protector

heaven’s images what i’m thinking of

bowing low in honor of my Savior

       will not eternity’s outcome display

       victorious battles pointing the way

   #113

teach me O my Lord thy marvelous ways

and i will know to follow right from wrong

teach me thy commandments all of my days

so that i may know to whom i belong

teach me to see justice in thy judgments

and i will better know thy righteousness

teach me unfailing love for thy remnants

in accordance with all thy holiness

teach me to follow wherever thy lead

so that i may remain within thy light

teach me honor and praise in all i plead

so i may fervently pray day and night

       teach me what it means to be one of Yours

       prepare me to fight in thine unseen wars

   #114

desperately wicked the human heart

and deceitful above human measure

according to works are we set apart

not mine but God’s who grants us His treasure

a circumcised heart is God’s desire

for any to be considered a jew

His fury comes forth in consuming fire

unquenchable ‘til stony heart made new

burnt offerings no linger required

covering my unintentional sin

humbleness and contrition desired

as well as a repentant heart within

       my heart given before earth’s foundation

       a gift of God prior to creation

   #115

my heart O Lord desires only You

awakening each morning to dawning light

cannot i for closeness learn to pursue

my master true who teaches only right

my heart’s love for You encompasses all

freely flowing forth from within unknown

loving You with all my heart my Lord’s call

God’s great gift given for glory alone

my heart sings silent songs of loving praise

to You who lifts my spirit high above

do not i want to follow all my days

as a child pleases a parent they love

       to You alone belongs my heart and soul

       set apart for You Lord each day my goal

   #116

promises pound against a sea of doubt

trying to push away darkness within

feeling Your love and hearing Your voice shout

in a moment my soul begins to grin

new morning’s bright sun shines down upon me

Your radiance filling overflowing

when i look up it is Your love i see

coming from within my soul now glowing

by day’s end the evidence has faded

of Your presence such a short time ago

beaten by a world in which i’m graded

and measured according to those i know

       You are the one and only begotten

       and by Your love i am not forgotten

   #117

desire overwhelms me overflowing

knowing it is You who i want to serve

love fills me full from within now growing

sowing mercy’s seed never to deserve

compassion freely placed within my heart

apart from my natural selfishness

service to fellow humans more life’s art

depart will i toward my Lord’s righteousness

faith found seeping into my soul within

grin upon my face knowing it’s from You

obedience my goal to combat sin

in my heart to approach the light anew

       it is You my Lord true who i follow

       knowing gift given removes all sorrow

   #118

i see You in all Your glory sitting

high up above creation’s broad expanse

light for living Your presence emitting

knowing my adoption was not by chance

You knew me before the world’s beginning

before anything that was made was made

You gave me life capable of sinning

and covered me forever my debt paid

Your hair like white wool and bright eyes glowing

penetrating into my heart and mind

every feeling and thought You are knowing

Your gift of mercy in my life i find

       worshiping at Your feet my dear Father

       it is You i serve and not another

   #119

gratitude growing from the depths above

seeping flowing moving within my being

filling overflowing my gift of love

from my everlasting Father seeing

kindness from my Savior God now appeared

washing renewing cleansing every day

from before foundation’s feet my heart feared

in reverence and awe apart to stay

abundant mercy provided freely

bleeding covering ev’ry single sin

finding faith justifying truly

creating hope eternal from within

       Father Savior God upon golden throne

       upholding forever the one You’ve known

   #120

i know not what lies before me creeping

compassion seeping away in darkness

see not eternity’s clown now weeping

aggressive world steeped in dying starkness

evil’s treasure hidden behind each scene

pulling puppet’s dangling strings with gladness

pleasant politeness masking hearts so mean

suddenly exposing silent madness

glimpses of future desolation seen

hidden abominations standing near

devastation moving closer to glean

unknowing recipients cannot fear

       wars and rumors of wars continue still

       impelling t’ward completion of Your will

   #121

my life lived O Lord is for Your glory

and nothing i can do can change that fact

days unfolding pages of Your story

written upon a heart of flesh to act

people enter and exit life’s highway

so silent glimpses might be seen anew

quickly fading contacts can always sway

a soul to reoccurring thoughts of You

words simply spoken comfort another

penetrating through the mind to the heart

flower buds blossom converting brother

fellowship with God never to depart

       Your glory always present in my mind

       sharing silent glimpses with those You find

   #122

i could sing You songs of praise forever

passion poured out from humble heart within

words of existence on balanced lever

O so clever to silence evil’s din

hear not those wailing cries from the darkness

penetrating ears that can never hear

see not starry skies through heaven’s brightness

protecting eyes that see the One so dear

i could sing my songs of love all day long

worship offered to kinsman redeemer

simple heartfelt words floating on a song

words of future glory from a dreamer

       a world cries my Savior dies all for love

       my words ring true for You i’m speaking of

   #123

You spoke of things few could understand

secret mysteries ‘til Your Son revealed

how many followed to the promised land

standing in faith forever Spirit sealed

Your kingdom can never be seen with eyes

nor entered without an invitation

one can sit down and hear the weeping cries

by those locked out of glory’s salvation

treasure hidden within the seeds to grow

a fisher’s net cast out to catch Your own

redemption’s prize offered to those You sow

from creation’s beginning they are known

       Your kingdom belonging to all You choose

       never to imagine any to loose

   #124

there is nowhere to go to escape You

when obedience is not desired

imagination creates something new

yet false lies make me so very tired

deception can only be self-serving

pointing me toward my own destruction

absent direct connection to deserving

as partaker of Your resurrection

why cannot i simply stand on my Lord

whose presence remains firmly fixed in place

is it not i who wanders when i’m bored

returning only because of Your grace

       Your promised acceptance is always true

       when wandering heart returns back to You

   #125

You are infinite and never changing

a loving standard a beacon to see

wisdom divine my life rearranging

guiding directing leading only me

although it cannot be explained so clear

why You find me worthy of such great love

my heart longs for the One i hold so dear

and in my mind it’s You i’m thinking of

love’s bond draws me near every single day

close to the bright flame of all creation

i see You sitting on Your throne and say

change not ever my heart’s great elation

       my soul sings love’s sweet sounding songs for You

       my Savior my God my Friend only true

   #126

simple sounding words are never spoken

when describing people’s great beginning

simple thinking attacked kicked and broken

by those unable to resist sinning

grinning when they fabricate the story

of how human beings evolved from apes

simply ignoring my God’s great glory

of creation hidden behind dark drapes

a bird flies a child cries a man dies

all to show a Creator in control

miracles denied by skeptics with sighs

political correctness on patrol

       all creation speaks softly about You

       the only One who makes it ever true

   #127

i know not what transpires each morning

creation groaning for Your quick return

science and logic explain the dawning

sunshine spreading light for me to discern

each day surely bringing new beginning

another chance of doing what is right

to walk accordingly without sinning

remaining at the center of Your light

each morning brings me closer to my goal

closer to the One my heart desires

closer to You who owns my precious soul

and gives me grace for all that transpires

       mornings find me seeking after Your face

       longing to soon meet the Author of grace

   #128

human passions grow high over Your word

as anger rises close to the surface

we study and listen to what we’ve heard

praying only to obey our purpose

am i wrong am i right what do i know

what will prove i am studied and approved

reading learning teaching all You did show

passing on only Your truth unreproved

election salvation a mystery

each pointing in different directions

a soul is chosen before history

and a soul can also make selections

       You are Author of truth written by men

       and we study to know what You meant when

   #129

how O Lord is it possible to know

Your word’s true meaning in Holy Scriptures

studying a little each day to grow

from hidden truth secreted in pictures

does not one understand Your word spoken

through holy men of God so faithfully

waiting patiently humble and broken

for direction of their minds prayerfully

cannot one see Your story unfolding

from before the beginning of it all

because of sin it is You upholding

Your precious moral standard from the fall

       desire darkens every human heart

       knowledge of Your word will set us apart

   #130

i cry to You O Lord each morning

my heart searching to meet You face to face

within me is my simple soul longing

as desperation overwhelms without trace

Your presence sought after in my actions

knowing You must be the One in control

yet finding disaster my attractions

and foot-in-mouth the price paid for the toll

i know You hear me clearly crying out

words of passion floating up to Your ears

yet again having not a single doubt

seeing You O so clearly through my tears

       every day seeking drawing near to You

       the Lord of all Creation ever true

   #131

does not eternity’s dawning cry out

each morning the Son shining righteousness

my soul awakening with a loud shout

seeing shadows of Your Son’s true brightness

exhortations of love spoken clearly

approaching golden throne with reverence

surrendering soul beholding dearly

my living Gods unrelenting patience

gratitude overflows my soul given

from my God first offering His true love

yet finding heart and mind filled and driven

to the only One i am thinking of

       the end of all creation drawing near

       Your love and patience O so very dear

   #132

destiny’s dark disciples in control

of a people who willingly follow

the devil’s daemons always on patrol

seeking souls that are empty and hollow

protection provided without request

to those who believe in God’s only Son

He entered our world to offer His best

death was conquered and the battle was won

victory belongs to all who believe

that God died and rose again for my sin

overcoming he who wants to deceive

with power from my living God to win

       the devil seeks all he wants to devour

       yet God steps in at His appointed hour

   #133

remember when i did not know the way

and simply read about it in Your book

i did not know where to go or what to say

and not even where on earth i could look

why was it You took me under Your wing

and taught me what it was You really meant

You showed me how to You people would sing

and how by You Your messengers were sent

You gave me wisdom for living each day

and discernment so i could do what’s right

You gave me knowledge of forces in play

and understanding of Your shining light

       nothing has been done by me to deserve

       Your precious gifts to one who wants to serve

   #134

praise the Lord all you who honor His name

sing Him sweet songs of worship from your heart

knowledge of His terrible works His fame

and justice and wrath what sets Him apart

give to the Lord all glory to Him due

sing Him songs of honor on bended knee

after Him alone are you to pursue

and from the evil one are you to flee

look all around to see creation’s truth

heavens above declaring His glory

the evidence has been seen from your youth

how then can it be denied when hoary

       marvelous are Your works O Lord to me

       awestruck by it all when i look to see

   #135

You entered jerusalem on sunday

bless’d coming in the Lord of Glory’s name

palm branches placed before You on the way

hosanna in the highest Your true claim

You entered and cleansed Your Father’s temple

fulfilling promises from long ago

words of salvation came with Your gospel

so that those who could hear would truly know

You spoke of coming total destruction

of all things that israel held so dear

promising a coming resurrection

that would evidence Your kingdom so clear

       You came to live and die and live again

       so that with You we could live love’s refrain

   #136

i live at Your pleasure bringing glory

to the One who created everything

writing words to tell a simple story

of my God’s love resting under His wing

You clearly knew me from before my birth

and taught me about You when very young

seeing scripture’s stories for all their worth

passing on only what’s written and sung

You are in my thoughts every single day

and through my heart Your love flows to others

knowledge of Your word’s meaning what i say

offering Your wisdom to my brothers

       i am Your bondservant doing Your will

       keeping my eyes only on Zion’s hill

   #137

wherein do You dwell that i cannot see

regardless of how carefully i look

i know that Your Spirit dwells within me

and knowledge of You is found in Your book

where hides Your face that i might find You

while seeking after You every morning

i know right well Your presence fills me true

and Your words provide a simple warning

how then can i know You really exist

when my eyes see not and my ears hear not

yet i know if only i could persist

until my life’s end wherein lies my lot

       then i would see Your face in all glory

       at last knowing the end of the story

   #138

was it possible Lord You did not know

just how many days You would be buried

how many nights are required to show

the sign of jonah could not be tarried

three days and three nights did death require

to prove the truth of Your words as spoken

paying the price for sin Your desire

the bonds of disobedience broken

rising from the grave that beautiful morn

appearing in newness of life to Yours

walking on the road with them by dawn

entering their presence unstopped by doors

       O death where is the power of your sting

       victory alone belongs to my King

   #139

the power of God unto salvation

for everyone who believes the gospel

jew and gentile regardless of nation

for every tribe and kindred and people

the righteousness of God revealed by faith

of Jesus Christ unto all who believe

judging ungodliness with heaven’s wrath

against all sin for which my God will grieve

the knowledge of God is unsearchable

and we are beyond finding out His ways

yet His qualities seen by the humble

are manifest and true all of our days

       the invisible things of God are seen

       clearly revealed to all those who glean

   #140

You do bless me beyond my wildest dreams

providing all my needs for life’s living

showing me nothing is as it seems

in this high tech world of human striving

all those who are Yours alone see clearly

the hand of the Lord in our simple life

and cherish all that You do so dearly

allowing us each to live without strife

Your mystery of peace freely given

is unknown to all Yours who do receive

and yet it is a gift straight from heaven

to all Your cherished ones who do believe

       the ways of the Lord i can clearly see

       when Your righteous hand guides and directs me

   #141

how long O Lord provider must i wait

for life’s ongoing trials to subside

it seems they have only strengthened of late

taking me on an emotional ride

i look to You Lord for daily guidance

on all choices needing my decision

willingly deferring to Your presence

before considering the conclusion

experiential knowledge grows true trust

with heart’s desire teaching me Your way

knowing obedience to You a must

in order to draw close to You each day

       i stand firmly facing Your glowing throne

       worship and supplication Yours alone

   #142

merciful God of glory O so great

my love abounds beyond comparison

looking forward knowing i cannot wait

until i can see the face of Your Son

Your grace and mercy showered upon me

every new day amidst the world’s antics

exposing all unrighteousness to see

every claim portrayed by godless tactics

Your longsuffering cries out every day

knowing good and evil do coexist

forever goodness and truth show Your way

ensuring Your outcome only persist

       Your light brightly shines on all who follow

       and uphold Your name revered and hallow

   #143

is it racism or just racial pride

driving all the different groups to speak

how can one just standing by on the side

know who represents the humble and weak

inflamed rhetoric the standard today

using emotion to rally support

cannot you see we are loosing our way

integrity suffers common retort

wherever can i find my God’s reply

for setting eternity’s record straight

when can i hear the popular decry

against all who use evil to debate

       self-righteous offenders grand stand and preach

       always accusing others of hate speech

   #144

who can say why love will last forever

two hearts beating together as one flesh

every day you see my passion’s fever

entangled with you in life’s simple mesh

banal days march by in endless parade

two hearts singing sweet songs of love’s caring

never lost in meaningless motions made

without compassion offered with daring

you never cease to put my welfare first

even with more important things on your mind

each heart seeking the other in love’s thirst

never departing from what God designed

       each choosing to live together for life

       honoring the Lord as husband and wife

Top

part 3

expressions

written 2008 through 2012

   #145

O how i love you

let me tell you some of the ways

i love how you laugh at my stupid little jokes

and when you look at me as if i were really someone special

i love how not one day goes by that you do not put me first

and when i look at you i see the beauty of your soul

i love how when i touch you electricity sets my nerve ends dancing

and when i hold you in my arms we can never quite get close enough

i love how you have learned to put up with my Jewish craziness

and when your Irish determination keeps you solid as a rock

i love how each year i love you more than the last

and when i still desire to sit and talk with you for hours

i love how i could never want life lived any other way

and when i close the door to the world we are all that we ever need

i love you in more ways than mere words could ever express

and when i try i still stumble and bumble like a smitten teenager

i love how thirty years have flown by so fast

and when i cannot remember a time when i have not loved you

i love most of all how God has knit our hearts and souls together

forever creating harmony in one from two so very different

   #146

i cannot see you with my eyes

but i know you are close enough to hear my cries

desire driving me to that quickly coming day

when there will be nothing more i could say

to the One to whom my soul belongs

no more softly singing songs

no more reading written words

no more seeing human herds

stumbling through life looking for answers

to all those questions that should never be asked

then i will get to see You O Lord with open eyes

and finally be able to say thank you face to face

for all that You have done to love me

and keep me Your very own

up until the end of time

eternally sublime

   #147

cannot one day’s desire ever tire

of distant decades shamefully remembered

of a time traversed without You

yet now reversed to forward facing motion

a magnanimous correction carried out

amidst a silent shout from within my soul’s deepest depth

cannot a fondly found friendship change

more than rearrange a life

one ravaged rife with overwhelming sin

cause change swelling up from within

overpowering the devil’s din to win one soul

teetering tenuously on the brink of destruction

with divinely destined construction

opened for intense inspection

survive

alive

cannot destiny’s dangerous desire

ever tire or even retire

from the devil’s destination for souls

the time is secretly coming

to every harrowing home standing alone

of love lavishly grown by a master gardener

planting precious seeds

in the hearts of His own

forever sown in glory

   #148

there was a time

i remember it all too well

when i was not like everyone else

when i heard not silence

in answer to our discussions

when i felt not emptiness

to a presence only memory sees

how long O Lord

how long must i wait

till a time when forgiveness will overtake

for the most horrific mistake

in a life littered with many

how long will You keep silent

and stand far off

just because i was foolish enough

to want to be like everyone else

understanding not the specialness

of a gracious gift given from childhood

now only vaguely remembered

and fiercely sought after

all the days of my life

O that You would return the gift

that i would be not like everyone else

ever again

   #149

every moment

my beating heart meditates not upon You

breeds distress within my soul

a cauldron

of old insignificant laments of life

looming all around

tossing me aground

a rat drowned in a sea of human expectations

and yet

my love for You is always there

so easily plucked out of the air

a remedy for despair

if only i would try

to focus my mind’s eye upon You

my redeemer my rock my Lord

lover of my soul

my shield my sword

   #150

early mornings are a special time of day

when sleep recedes

and awareness is not filtered

by conscious defenses

there you are

not quite visible

on the periphery of my senses

just out of reach

just far enough

that i spend the whole rest of the day

seeking to get Your face into focus

searching for You

in the land of the living

giving meaning to my life

as i look for Your goodness

in every face i encounter during the day

just waiting to say “there You are”

but alas

it is not possible to know

how far i need to go

till i can seek Your face

and find You

Your face is elusive

from my conscious mind

and yet i find Your presence unmistakable

and Your love uncomprehendible

and Your mind unsearchable

as You grasp me tightly in Your hand

and never let me go

   #151

why saith thou there is no living God

and goeth about thy day pretending

narcissism never altogether odd

when indulging desire unbending

why saith thou there is no longing love

and selfless giving outdated design

arrogance an obvious well worn glove

understanding only all that is thine

why saith thou there is no compassion

staring solemnly out of a dead face

ego’s rationale masks comprehension

while allowing neither mercy nor grace

       how canst not thou see God’s peaceful solace

       compassed round about with perfect justice

   #152

praise the Lord all ye calling upon His name

and seek His face early in the morning

He provides His saints with eternal fame

when fortunes counted at final dawning

praise the Lord calling upon Him loudly

lift up thy hands to Him only who saves

sing thou songs of love and truth most gladly

when faith’s atoning work destroys death’s graves

praise the Lord with sincerity of heart

and acknowledge Him as the one true God

He alone longsuffering set apart

showing only goodness without the rod

       His truth and justice never in fashion

       love the Lord with all consuming passion

   #153

why seest thou not His truth before thee

and goest about thy day in darkness

error entangles His simple decree

of showing not thy brother His starkness

why seest thou not how firmly to stand

and cower behind thy incorrect speech

pernicious behavior forever grand

when desolation’s promise fills the breach

why seest thou not evil all around

and applaud Ishmael in uprising

the pursuit of happiness run aground

when liberal response not surprising

       His gifts squandered in rational debates

       freedom falters when good procrastinates

   #154

cannot my soul pursue You in gladness

leveling high mountains to overcome

seeking ever only for Your goodness

when actions taken together in sum

have not You required humility

as my best behavior seen by others

love’s compassion a timeless quality

giving comfort and aid to my brothers

are not You exalted high above all

in a life seeking only Your glory

daily honor and praise to You stand tall

in the center of telling my story

       protection present clearly do i find

       before me ever even from behind

   #155

newscasters conceal daily oppression

spewing out false fairness at every chance

never speaking to rampant recession

when captivated by deceit’s dark glance

telling lies about taxes never raised

and how much better off we are today

simple stories of politicians praised

for leading suffering masses astray

media’s message maters to our health

left leaning words filled with iniquity

shattered lives living drained of all their wealth

as vassals trodden from antiquity

       death served up with government’s subtle lies

       life given only when God hears our cries

   #156

You alone are ever only before my eyes

       listening to my cries and sighs day and night

You alone are ever only compassed round about

       removing every doubt that comes to mind

You alone are ever only the One i find

       loving unconditionally

       without exception

       with a special kind of compassion

You alone are ever only near in every season

       the only reason here being that You Are

You alone are ever only never far away

       standing without sway just beyond focused vision

You alone are ever only the One without derision

       offering daily provision for living life

You alone are ever only the remover of strife

       cutting it away with a surgeon’s knife

       cutting away all that honors not the One who Is

You alone are ever only the One to whom all glory is due

       the only One i do pursue

       with heart and mind and soul

You alone are ever only the strength of one growing old

       never sold out for fame and fortune

       always the singular goal of life lived for You

You alone are ever only wholly in tune with Your creation

       knowing the elation of those who follow only You

       what more can anyone do

You alone are ever only holy and righteous and just

       giving gracious gifts to those who trust only in You

       what more can anyone do

You alone are ever only the One true God

       Your name ever only stands forever

       eternal protection ever only for all who bow at Your feet

       how sweet the end

   #157

Egypt once prominent when Pharaohs reigned

monuments erect in eloquent praise

designs on honor eternally gained

when history recalls her special days

modern rulers only earning disdain

with Chicago tactics of corruption

power’s prominence never to remain

when chanting angry mobs cause disruption

military generals take control

till democratic elections upheld

alert soldiers with vigilance patrol

as every uprising is quickly quelled

       old things abolished in favor of new

       hope stands sentry knowing not what to do

   #158

destruction stands silently at the door

wanting ways to secretly gain entrance

dogmatism fights for that we do abhor

while martyrs kill all without repentance

lawmakers ignore the people’s crying

for tightening control over borders

politicians continue denying

the existence of evil marauders

military preparations occur

for battles to be fought around the globe

ignorance causes them not to deter

every chance the enemy has to probe

       perfunctory measures hold back the flood

       till destiny comes for infidel’s blood

   #159

can spending simply ever decrease debt

building over many generations

ignorant logic the reason to fret

when giving bailouts and reparations

presidential budget beyond excess

by comparison to any other

selfish ambition progeny’s distress

inflamed by payoffs to friend and brother

entitlements amass the lion’s share

of gratuities liberals dole out

provocative actions a double dare

against conservative’s minuscule clout

       beaten masses abhor any uprising

       anger’s reprise may dictate revising

   #160

founding generation’s history lost

amidst years of public education

constitutional clarity the cost

of debase progressive prostitution

Adams and Jefferson never agree

when giving reasons for the nation’s birth

dueling desperados split sov’reignty

grabbing fiercely for power’s greater worth

calumny’s destruction the final goal

hidden beneath civility’s veneer

unbalanced societal scales the toll

when mobilizing emotional fear

       Obama father of hypocrisy

       trying to dismantle democracy

   #161

enter Obama Pelosi and Reid

evil destroyers of democracy

leading liberals loving only greed

with their double minded duplicity

twenty six governors fighting for life

liberty and pursuit of happiness

erecting obstacles with pen and knife

to dismantle corruption’s craftiness

serious battle lines carefully drawn

over guns healthcare and immigration

gauntlet taken up defending the dawn

of dwindling government provocation

       caped crusaders deftly defying all

       fear nothing but failure before the fall

   #162

a birthplace remains inconsequential

an interesting footnote to living

until ill-gotten gain proves substantial

and all consuming power a craving

rapacious desire shackles the heart

Presidential office the final prize

great fantasies of knowledge to impart

influence peddling bedfellow’s reprise

constitutional crisis looming large

over legal standing of our leader

outspoken conservatives sound the charge

to enlighten every Kool-Aid drinker

       Supremes agree to another hearing

       can rule of law’s demise conquer fearing

   #163

public sector unions think themselves due

every pernicious thought within their heart

cravings of malice and greed to pursue

defiant actions setting them apart

upon the back of every taxpayer

their burden is laid for generations

rapacious envy their true destroyer

selfish desire their inspirations

oppressive opposition a talent

making every dictator envious

intimidation their foremost intent

motivations ever so devious

       Saul Alinsky singing songs of their praise

       struggling masses seek their end of days

   #164

i call attention to understanding

many essential truths of power’s goal

ongoing expectations her demanding

when starring down a trusting helpless soul

prestige and esteem her requirement

an opening payment for admission

special gratuities her excitement

when standing in honored recognition

most favored treatment her needed respect

commensurate with advantaged elite

fame and fortune her delighted subject

fearing the coming day when obsolete

       power’s obsession can never turn back

       even when a conscience mounts an attack

   #165

i sing you songs of sweetness from my heart

never failing passionate praise to show

life’s circumstances keep us not apart

when destiny has but grace to bestow

beauty’s halo dances about your face

as sparkles twinkle glimmering to glow

passion’s aligned polarities in place

magnetic forces pushing us to go

many wonderful years of looking back

with multicolored happenings in tow

unseen actions conspired with a knack

to pull us in directions that we know

       thirty-one years cannot consider odd

       multifaceted marriage gifts from God

   #166

security stands guard within her walls

when protection paramount for defense

captivating children my heart enthralls

clowning around in perfect innocence

cannot you see their curiosity

silently following fantasy’s shores

stories gobbled up with intensity

actor’s pretense lurking behind closed doors

spend time within her corridors gleaming

see how lasting love lingers present there

laughing crying rejoice never dreaming

four lives entwined amidst walls never bare

       simple pleasures accumulated years

       earnestly looking back overflows tears

   #167

teetering governments pushed to the fore

enraged zealots for freedom clamoring

violent unrest driving civil war

hatred beguiles religious reasoning

wherever ends contemptible madness

cannot any see posterity’s light

mother’s sons in suicidal sadness

understanding not evil forces fight

sympathy saunters silently far behind

pushing misery’s agenda headlong

calamity confronts all of mankind

whenever terror excites to belong

       approaching turmoil surging silently

       death’s destruction coming violently

   #168

we know neither time nor coming hour

when the last grain of sand falls far below

destiny’s delight coming in power

to gather together all those who know

you may stand uncommitted to the end

knowing not the winning side in the fight

broken reeds in the wind could never bend

when blinded eyes insensitive to light

see not the obvious standing about

in sun and moon and stars the story told

pay close attention to remove all doubt

to see the living King from times of old

       time will come when you see Him face to face

       will you stand in His honor or disgrace

   #169

a poignant player standing center stage

with cherubic face of intelligence

pushing himself on founding father’s page

to escape from lifelong irrelevance

eager participant in all debates

about life liberty and happiness

behind the scene fighting foreign ingrates

as champion of war’s wooden fortress

statesman ambassador and president

independent nature fosters success

as federal city’s first resident

the target of political distress

       above all standing with integrity

       fighting freedom’s call for posterity

   #170

his words resound to all generations

declaring our nation’s independence

driven by personal expectations

to fight against federal prominence

partisan politics’ foremost father

when ensuring success with all calumny

state sovereignty’s solid bellwether

depicting deceit’s hidden treachery

consummate consumer always buying

financial debt following to the grave

never truthful and always denying

and for country indifference deprave

       history’s greatness elevates him tall

       following his example brings our fall

   #171

natural disaster never warning

unsuspecting souls going about life

awake to see devastation dawning

amidst harrowing hales of sorrow’s strife

catastrophe shaking earth’s foundation

industrial cities swallowed up whole

too many searching in desperation

to find every tsunami ravaged soul

horrified faces in disbelief stare

colossal destruction litters meadows

women and children in fog of despair

aimlessly walking in silent shadows

       today’s emptiness seems never ending

       destiny’s road travels always bending

   #172

you taught me going in and going out

all goodness of the living God above

sitting and watching you praying devout

listening to your stories of His love

you walked with me many early mornings

the seashore’s mighty roar within our ears

life for me beginning early dawnings

and yours slipping silently on my tears

your gentle smile lingers in memory

and softly spoken Yiddish lifts my heart

age never lessened our simple story

a grandfather’s love can never depart

       you would be proud of the man i became

       your love within me still growing the same

   #173

there is a place where safety sits silently

and little boys look up to their mother

hidden wars surprise so violently

unexpected times there is no other

simple truth never was the right answer

whenever demons invade your heart

never knowing always under cover

until the time of terror would depart

apologies never in all your years

another’s gentle words what was needed

pride your only standard for all life’s fears

selfishness all that you ever heeded

       a mother’s love life’s living advantage

       yours left behind emptiness and carnage

   #174

honeysuckle and jasmine in the air

follows a little boy from long ago

seldom times were you ever really there

to comfort a son you never did know

often baseball would bring us together

could any hit your slider dancing by

or your knuckleball light as a feather

wherever did all those teenage years fly

adulthood brought another direction

when independent natures go their way

you thought my behavior insurrection

what debts accrued did i never repay

       a father’s love life’s building character

       yours hidden behind tragedy’s actor

   #175

my soul’s forever father stands ready

to direct my steps each time requested

safety never far away quite heady

knowing you’re always with me invested

your demands never very difficult

only to love you with all of my heart

always present when waned for consult

with obedience you’ll never depart

ever ready to provide for your own

food shelter and basic necessities

stories of all you do are seeds sown

as followers tell their testimonies

       perfect righteousness of your love giving

       covered by your blood for blameless living

   #176

chicken little a favorite story

teaching children reality’s reason

she ran around forgetting history

ignoring what occur’d in due season

can you see similarities today

between that sad hysterical chicken

and politicians ever in dismay

when disaster casts life away stricken

can you hear Alinsky speak in their ears

telling how to seize hold of the moment

so all use could be made of people’s fears

to push them without hope to the pavement

       when life is driven by contradictions

       the left always responds with restrictions

   #177

Obama community activist

abusing every crisis to pass by

actions speak of being a communist

ruling class elite never to decry

does certainty tell of his country born

how many with stimulus dollars paid

where sits compassion when Japan’s been torn

can leadership rally boldly to aid

financial problems collected like gold

while stability can never be bought

our children’s security has been sold

with monumental debt higher than ought

       economic discernment his life’s bane

       and position upon world stage inane

   #178

where did the antiwar activists go

when Libya target of our forces

missiles and bombs raining down not for show

but covering for rebel resources

wherefore does Obama get a free pass

without any peacenik demonstrations

are they all back at Woodstock smoking grass

or chasing after love’s excitations

what’s their expectations for war and peace

and why wasn’t congress notified first

who are these rebels getting a new lease

are we then again rescuing the worst

       world coalition again together

       what blowing breeze behind stormy weather

   #179

middle eastern violence stands calling

while huddles masses cry loudly for aid

jihadist behavior most appalling

as religion’s leaders head the crusade

real battles brewing beneath the surface

when what appears is freedom’s rally cry

truth paints another picture of disgrace

when world anarchy safety to decry

what role remains for those of righteousness

knowing providential causality

overcoming against such evilness

ensconced within heaven’s reality

       destiny’s dark demons taking control

       destruction’s desolation on patrol

   #180

life’s ever winding road quickly speeds by

never meandering for your pleasure

twists and turns have you sometimes asking why

always searching for life’s hidden measure

know you not the secret to life’s meaning

with all her uncertainties provided

nibble carefully life’s edges gleaning

while watching all her outcomes decided

when enters sanity snapping you back

to reality’s sweet summer season

caution quickly recedes facing attack

from liberal ideal without reason

       make your stand for rational behavior

       government spending never your savior

   #181

wherewith before my Lord God shall i come

before the most high God myself to bow

shall i bring burnt offerings for ransom

with year old calves for transgressions avow

with thousands of rams will my Lord be pleased

or with ten thousands of rivers of oil

with my first-born for transgressions appeased

fruit of my body for my soul’s sin spoil

He has showed thee O man that which is good

what then requires the Lord God of thee

to do justly to love mercy thou should

and forever walk with thy God humbly

       mercy not sacrifice His desiring

       knowledge of God more than burnt offering

   #182

debt’s deception

debt’s deception stands knocking at the door

enticing you with all her beauty bold

images dancing gladly evermore

of all life’s wealth amassed before untold

can appetites ever be satisfied

when life’s financial desires compel

negotiations never ratified

by passions pushing safety to rebel

think not of your final danger’s outcome

when overwhelming debt your life consumes

for every penny pays the total sum

destruction dancing as disaster looms

       politicians so love their money gained

       taxpayer’s poverty the cost maintained

first published on kengilbert.com and AnObserverBlog.blogspot.com, June 2, 2011

   #183

our economy

our economy circles round the drain

getting closer to destruction’s black hole

politicians discussing with disdain

voter’s requests for oversight control

yet stimulus dollars do disappear

into government friendly coffers

ready to bailout all those who revere

past progressive political proffers

over regulation reinforces

our economic slide to recession

leading to never ending discourses

regarding today’s spending obsession

       economic disaster unforeseen

       when overwhelming haughtiness obscene

first published on kengilbert.com and AnObserverBlog.blogspot.com, June 8, 2011

   #184

how knows one Your sovereign will’s season

when diverging roads suddenly appear

cannot one then seek self-virtue’s reason

selecting the path one’s own heart revere

how knows one Your sov’reign will’s direction

when looking at life’s spinning weather vane

cannot fortitude avoid detection

when one sets aside spiritual gain

how knows one Your sovereign strength unsown

when weakness takes command before the fall

cannot inner strength fight against its own

when haughtiness begins to stand up tall

       my sovereign Lord always stands nearby

       awaiting the contrite to Him comply

   #185

His heart and mind forever unconcealed

living life with wisdom His words confess

know you not lovingkindness so revealed

loudly speaking from ancient times address

see you not goodness looking to be found

truth and justice showing clearly arrayed

seeking fairness missing never around

when recompense for evil not repaid

His life story from ancient times retold

when yet before His name was ever known

God’s Son in glory speaking words of old

showing forth destiny’s lineage sown

       entering the world with boldness speaking

       His message for all who follow seeking

   #186
misdirection
speaking simple words of misdirection
his head held high above the common crowd
people unprotesting his deception
pride ever dancing in eyes never bowed
traveling ’round the country day and night
with fortune’s enigmatic fortitude
promises made to cure poverty’s plight
eliciting worship and gratitude
portraying himself another savior
representing everyone’s own int’rest
platitudes conceal his true behavior
’til desperation’s flight made manifest
       integrity and honor nowhere found
       Obama ready lying to confound

first published on kengilbert.com and AnObserverBlog.blogspot.com, February 4, 2012

   #187
unsuspecting
life overwhelms us at sundry times
falling prey to a world hating the meek
when nothing can be done but writing rhymes
and standing on the wall for those who seek
poverty attacks from all directions
devouring today both rich and poor
poverty leads many insurrections
against evil’s hand lurking at the door
cannot One’s goodness restore life’s standing
before multitudes of helpless hunger
today’s world has a way of demanding
deceit’s deception in worthless anger
       the world devours us unsuspecting
       only the One’s promises protecting

first published on kengilbert.com and AnObserverBlog.blogspot.com, February 26, 2012

   #188
community
in the streets wailing and lamentation
for growing hunger never satisfied
mourning faces bright in expectation
for a people turned away horrified
not know knowing even where to begin
or how to help a world in groaning pain
Christ’s community must now turn within
for simple ways to fight poverty’s gain
people helping with food clothing shelter
all who silently plead for help indeed
cannot tenderness displace disaster
with determined patients sowing His seed
       poverty stands not sorrow’s chance this day
       when grace abounds with love to all display

first published on kengilbert.com and AnObserverBlog.blogspot.com, March 3, 2012

   #189
despotic contenders
prices soar beyond reason’s demanding
for necessities and fossil fuel
politicians now together banding
’round economic destruction cruel
progressives attack conservative foes
finding only incompetence at home
both driving prosperity to new lows
and recording all in history’s tome
blogs abound with righteous indignation
fervently warning against freedom’s loss
politically forced deprivation
enslaving everyone in double cross
       where then find we liberty’s defenders
       hidden among despotic contenders

first published on kengilbert.com and AnObserverBlog.blogspot.com, March 7, 2012

   #190
demon's death
when one partakes of different thinking
then brought about by artificial means
assaults on a desperate mind sinking
beneath reality’s intended scenes
cannot your inner self survive alive
amidst life’s crying pressure to succeed
entreating passion never to deprive
when fondest fantasy can not recede
your end lingers in shadows yet unseen
mustering deadly forces to deploy
wake up your inner self to intervene
before the shadow’s forces do destroy
       hear not silent whispers of life’s last breath
       before the Lord’s hand conquers demon’s death

first published on kengilbert.com, May 6, 2012

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